Supporting @Centerlink Competition – Week 4 - WIN SBD - supporting #teamaustralia
It is 'tax' time again and it is time to 'hit me with your best shot' by entering the weekly:
"Supporting @Centerlink Competition"
Due to the continual 'government fundraising' (using your taxes) @Centerlink is currently supporting #teamaustralia members to the tune of a 10% upgoat per post.
Competition Rules
To be eligible for this competition you must:
- upvote and resteem this post
- follow @Centerlink
- complete the scenario/challenge as outlined below
You do not have to be a member of #TeamAustralia to participate in this competition, however, some knowledge of Australiana might be of an advantage.
Week 4 Competition Scenario:
You are currently receiving disability benefits due to a 'dodgy' back. One of our 'spies' recently captured this photo of you:
This week, to continue to receive the dole, you will need to explain why you should still receive your 'disability payments' after you were captured obviously 'flaunting your body' and breaking the 'rules'. Post your response in the comments section below.
The most creative or funny or enlightening or downright dodgy entry may be selected as the winner. Competition winners will be selected by #TeamAustralia government officials @ausbitbank and @sirknight and notified in the following weeks competition posting.
Week 3 Winner:
Congratulations to @plumey for the following response:
Earnings from last weeks Competition = 10.788SBD
5.394SBD to @plumey
5.394SBD to @centerlink
All SBD from this post will be split 50/50 between the competition winner and @Centerlink.
@Centerlink is an initiative of @ausbitbank with the support of @sirknight to further develop and strengthen the #TeamAustralia community and voting block.
More funds for @Centerlink = more Steem Power = stronger upvotes for #TeamAustralia members and their posts.
For more information, please call 13 8250 and wait on hold for 2 hours.
Thanks for supporting this competition.
Dear @centerlink,
I am writing this reply to your latest missive with my mouth as the barbells you show in the photo are now permanently attached to my claw-like hands. As you should be aware from my medical file (which you have asked me to provide no less than 17 times already) I am now so SWOLE that not only can I not hold a pen, but I have had to register each of my biceps for their own disability allowances.
I note you mention that I am "flaunting my body". However, you should know that I have not been able to wear a shirt since age 12. I find your comment insensitive and have attempted to register a complaint (well, two complaints: one from Ben and one from Jerry - my biceps) with the ombudsman. I was told I had to deliver it in person, but I couldn't fit in the car. So you'll need to up my allowance as I'm going to need a monster truck just to get around and a full time chauffeur too (if it's good enough for Turnball, it should be good enough for me).
I doubt my letter will work because I honestly don't think you are buff enough to truly understand, so I'll tell you how my old trainer used to tell me (before he died from a bad steroid batch): You must pay my disability. You must pay my disability. You must pay my disability.
There you go, three reps at max weight. I'd tell you to get a wriggle on but you'd probably do more cardio. Just do it!
Yours in SWOLEness,
@thinknzombie
Thanks for entering and supporting. Good luck.
Dear @centrelink,
I cannot write, and have dictated this letter for my cousin to write.
Please be advised that this photograph was taken at a most unfortunate time. You see, I have been on a medical research program, and had an adverse reaction to a drug which is supposed to tighten my core muscles, and help to support my back, which as you know has never been the same since"the incident."
This photo was taken at the exact moment the new, experimental drugs kicked in, causing my whole body to go into spasm. It even straightened my teeth, that I nearly didn't recognize myself.
What may seem like 200kg dumbells, are in fact silver plastic juice bottles which I was carrying at the time of my full body cramp. They contained the experimental drug which I had just drank. The cramp cause me the squeeze those poor bottles beyond recognition. I am still holding them, as nobody can get my hands open.
The doctors don't know how long this cramp may last, so I may need to apply for extra disability payments, as I now cannot use my arms properly and need a full time carer. Luckily my cousin is also unemployed, so he will be able to care for me in between looking for a job. Can he apply for a grant to look after me?
Yours faithfully
@bmj
P.S Please send me the relevant forms for my additional payments, and my cousin's carer's grant, and i will get someone who can hold a pen to fill them in for me.
Thanks for taking the time to enter. Good luck.
Dear @centerlink,
I know what it looks like but hear me out. A mate of mine took pity on me being laid up and missing out on all the fun with this dodgy back and asked me to take part in this new virtual reality snapchat 3d filter (he's a tech guy, tried to get me a job there but my bad back played up you see) . The effect lasts for days it seems and I didn't realise it when I went to support my bodybuilding aunty's annual feature showcase. I guess your person got a picture while I was grimacing in pain trying to lift my med containers (they seem to have been snapchatted into weight-like objects as well, go figure). What will these snapchat people think of next? And if you're wondering why I'm the only one who's been 3d vr snapchatted, well it's highly secret so don't tell your supervisor else we'll both be in trouble.
Anyway, hope to see my payment soon, my meds are running out (though they're just as heavy as ever),
yours sincerely in 3d,
Wendles
G'day @centrelink
It's a real bugger one of your blokes snapped that picture of me as it don't look the best does it? As yous know i rooted me back a while ago and can't work at all. I've been laid up on the couch since and have developed a pretty bad fluid build up which is why i look like a big rig.
I had decided to shuffle out to the letterbox and slipped my flannelette off given it was a nice day. Old mate Terry from next door was on his way to water aerobics down at the pool and dropped his foam dumbbells. They're made for the old codgers so they each weigh less than a couple of cold cans. I picked them up and handed them back to Terry with a friendly smile right as your bloke took this picture.
I'm not one of them con artists like they show on A Current Affair and as you can clearly see i'm still wearing me back support belt from the doctor. I hope this explanations has resolved the situation so i can get back to resting and you can get back to processing me disability payments.
Cheers lads
@gouch
Thanks for entering. Good luck.
Dear @centerlink,
I am writing to inform you that this photo you claim is me is actually a photo of my long lost identical twin brother that I only recently discovered I had. We were separated at birth due to my mother's inability to care for us at the time, since she was only a teenager. She had been receiving Centrelink benefits due to her bad back and her pregnancy did her back in even more, but due to a mix-up with her file at your organisation she stopped receiving the payments and couldn't afford to feed us and had to give us up for adoption. I inherited my dodgy back from my now deceased mother who died penniless and need to continue receiving my disability payments. My twin brother is the lucky one who managed to get good genes from my deadbeat father who I never knew. I only found out I had this buff bodybuilder twin a few days ago after you sent me this photo.
I did some digging and tried to contact him to clarify this misunderstanding with you but he is not returning my calls! If you look closely at the photo you can see that he has perfect teeth whereas my front tooth has a chip because of a fall I had due to my bad back! I can see why you may have mistaken my brother for me but I hope this clarifies things and that you continue sending me my disability payments.
Thanks for helping me find the brother I never knew I had and perhaps you can help me track him down?! Maybe get some top ASIO agents on the case? He may be in danger since he's not returning my calls.
Yours sincerely
@snooway
Thanks for entering and supporting. Good luck.
Thanks for the challenge which helped me flex my letter writing muscles ;)
Dear @centerlink,
That picture is photoshopped propaganda. I'm a skinny white man. Get off my dick!
Cheers,
@arkadiy
Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by scooter77 from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, and someguy123. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows and creating a social network. Please find us in the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.
If you like what we're doing please upvote this comment so we can continue to build the community account that's supporting all members.
G'day, Totally wrapped at knocking off the prize for week 3!! Normally, I can't even win the chook raffle at the pub on a Friday. Thanks a lot!!
Resteemed and upvoted again but straight away I can see it's going to be a tough job backing up against @bmj with his good effort.
very nice , i like.
i love to join steemit and to help earh other
#vote and follow you
do not forget to upvote and follow me @rezachaisar