Dear @centerlink,

I am writing to inform you that this photo you claim is me is actually a photo of my long lost identical twin brother that I only recently discovered I had. We were separated at birth due to my mother's inability to care for us at the time, since she was only a teenager. She had been receiving Centrelink benefits due to her bad back and her pregnancy did her back in even more, but due to a mix-up with her file at your organisation she stopped receiving the payments and couldn't afford to feed us and had to give us up for adoption. I inherited my dodgy back from my now deceased mother who died penniless and need to continue receiving my disability payments. My twin brother is the lucky one who managed to get good genes from my deadbeat father who I never knew. I only found out I had this buff bodybuilder twin a few days ago after you sent me this photo.

I did some digging and tried to contact him to clarify this misunderstanding with you but he is not returning my calls! If you look closely at the photo you can see that he has perfect teeth whereas my front tooth has a chip because of a fall I had due to my bad back! I can see why you may have mistaken my brother for me but I hope this clarifies things and that you continue sending me my disability payments.

Thanks for helping me find the brother I never knew I had and perhaps you can help me track him down?! Maybe get some top ASIO agents on the case? He may be in danger since he's not returning my calls.

Yours sincerely
@snooway