RE: Traffic Koans LAST CALL
No? For example, you want the people you post on to post on yours no matter how much or little they have to say. You even mentioned that you were glad for spammy posts. Now that I understand how much you want that, I'll make an effort to do for you what you want. I don't feel the same way. I hope people enjoy my work, and if they want to engage with me or it, I welcome that. I don't particularly like getting spammy comments. And I don't want anyone to feel like they should comment if they don't feel like there's something THEY want to say. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying our conversations, and sometimes a rule like yours or a different perspective like yours will create conversations that wouldn't have happened organically, so that's all well and good! I just want to meet people where they are.
Perhaps a clearer example of "do unto others as they want to have done unto them" is in physical intimacy. I may want to be kissed by someone, but that doesn't mean that they want to be kissed by me. The original golden rule would have me kiss them... and that would be wrong.
I may want surprise parties to be thrown for me, but if I know someone DOESN'T want a surprise party, I shouldn't throw them one, even though it's what I would want for me.
Haha okay so, from this explanation, I could clearly see that you're totally not getting what I'm talking about. I never obligated anyone to comment on my posts. As I said, if they don't want to, that's fine, I move on. I especially don't want people to make an effort to do that. That only creates resentment, which is something I never asked for.
Also, I never said I liked spam. I said at least spammers left a comment instead of the people who said I should post more often. Those people are connections I cultivated during my year here. It used to be that we had long conversations like this, and then suddenly nothing, which is something that disturbs and puzzles me.
Look, man, I don't know what your beef is or whatever but if you feel like you don't have anything to say on my posts, then don't bother commenting. Our personalities and approaches are just different, let's leave it at that. I'm not quite sure how this blunt confrontational attitude works for you, but personally, I don't really prefer people talking down to me. We should all just respect our differences, I think. I never criticized you for your approach, so I don't think it's fair that you constantly compare mine to yours.
Oh man! I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I thought that we were just ... well, it doesn't matter what I thought. I hurt you, and I'm sorry.
Sure, no worries. I have never been anything but supportive of you in my, arguably, limited comments to your posts. While I never expected anything similar in return, I just didn't expect this kind of banter.
I really didn't mean to hurt you. I was trying to support you as you want.
Yeah, no problem. I'm not quite sure if I just didn't phrase it well or you just misunderstood what I said. I've been doing this approach for more than half a year now and have fostered a lot of strong connections that way, but this was the first time I was met with condescension. So, yeah, I guess it just boils down to miscommunication.
That's not really the kind of support I wanted. Also, I really didn't beg for support with what I said. It's a shame it came across that way.
You keep saying condescension. I really didn't mean to be condescending. Again, I'm sorry to have hurt you.
I said it once, but yeah okay, sure.
When you said "talking down to", I thought you meant the same thing.