Can you change ? The paradox of change
The desire to change oneself often comes from a place of deep dissatisfaction. It's a feeling many can relate to: wanting to be someone different because of the tough battles with anxiety, depression, anger, fatigue, or sadness.
These feelings can be overwhelming and exhausting, leading to a strong wish to escape from one's current self. The question arises: can anyone help me change?
However, the response is clear. The idea of transforming someone into a different person implies that there is something inherently wrong with who they are right now. This notion can be damaging. It's vital to recognize that the process of change cannot stem from a desire to reject one's current self. There is no magic wand or quick fix available.
Picture an image of someone—a gentle and somewhat forgetful older lady, perhaps a bit heavier than most, who brings a sprinkle of sparkle wherever she goes. She reminds me of a character from a movie who sang a whimsical tune. While she offers an enchanting image, the truth is I cannot perform magic, and I am not a fairy. My role is different. I remain present, standing beside you through your struggles.
If you choose to stay and confront your feelings, something noteworthy can happen. You may start to embrace who you are. This acceptance can lead to a desire for better things in life. As you begin to appreciate yourself, the change will come not because you are trying to escape who you are, but because you are learning to love yourself as you are.
Often, people walk into my office seeking tools or strategies for their struggles. I can understand this need. Tools can be useful, but it's important to consider what they will be used for. Will these tools help in construction, stitching, baking, or something else?
The first tool needed is not a physical object but a mindset shift, which I call an eye-turner. This might sound strange at first, but it is essential. An eye-turner helps redirect your focus inward instead of outward.
This process allows you to begin exploring your inner self. Understanding your feelings is vital. Once you grasp your true emotions, you can identify the steps that may lead to improvement.
Once you recognize what you need, we can explore other tools together. While I might not possess a vast array of tools, many people discover that they can create their own tools through their experiences.
These self-made tools often become the most valuable in their journey toward understanding and acceptance.