How to build a strong relationship with your teenager!
To build a strong relationship with your teenager, the most valuable advice is to listen. Listening means engaging with genuine curiosity and interest. Think of when you meet someone intriguing; you want to know more about their thoughts and experiences. This same approach applies when connecting with your teenager.
People thrive when they feel heard. By actively listening to your teen, you create a safe space for their growth and development. In my experience as a coach, I regularly encounter young people who are weighed down by the heavy expectations placed upon them.
After our sessions, many express a sense of calm and relief. This is often because they have been listened to without any pressure or hidden agenda.
Today's youth face numerous demands regarding their actions and decisions. These pressures come from parents, schools, peers, and often their own inner critics. They constantly feel the need to improve or achieve something. This incessant pressure can lead them to disconnect from their true selves, resulting in feelings of insecurity.
As parents, it can be difficult to set aside our own needs and desires when interacting with our teenagers. We naturally want the best for them, which leads us to offer advice, corrections, and suggestions. However, this often backfires, causing them to shut down emotionally.
When teenagers feel unheard, they may withdraw, resist communication, or simply agree to maintain peace. This can create a barrier in building the close relationship that we desire.
You may find yourself asking how they are doing, genuinely wanting to know their feelings. But if your mind is elsewhere or your focus shifts to giving unwelcome advice, real listening may not happen. Your teen simply might need you to be present and attentive.
Often, they do not require an outpouring of well-meaning advice. As a parent, I recognize how challenging it can be to resist the urge to fix problems. I recall a moment when my daughter approached me, opening up about her feelings and challenges.
I intended to listen, but naturally, my instinct was to offer solutions. I wanted to ease her pain because no child should deal with such discomfort.