Simple Reasons Compliments Make You Uncomfortable
People don't like being praised for something they didn't do. To be or do something, you don't need to get a reward. Even though they say they won't, we see people doing all the things they don't want to do. A lot of people don't like being told what they're doing wrong or that they aren't good enough. People can change, but we won't see it until we help them.
It's one of life's ironies when you get praise when you need it the most. If you think that people will like you even if you don't do anything, it will be very hard for people to praise you when you do. People need to know that they're doing well, and they need to know that even if you aren't, you still love them.
In fact, the whole process of receiving gratitude should be done with the mindset that you won't give it to them unless they do something. Even if you're not feeling very positive, the rewards system works if you're in a good mood and you treat people the way they deserve. If you see praise for yourself as a right, you will be angry if you don't get it back. So, if you treat other people the way you want to be acted on, you won't feel as bad about not getting your wish when it doesn't happen.
People think that when they get praised, they have done something great. If you want to praise someone, this does not work. Think about the last time you had a party with friends. Do you remember when you were truly happy? If you haven't been very proud of yourself, it's clear that praise isn't a good thing.
Praise makes us want to do more of the same things, as well as to improve our work. Motivated people are happy. Doing things to the best of their abilities and having the sense that they can be great are two things that motivate people to do their best work. People who have low self-esteem don't like to be praised, so if you try to do so, you'll get resistance.
When someone compliments us, we tend to think about how good we are. When people see how much money we make and how hard we work, they can be swayed. People often compare us to our bosses or other role models. These comparisons are usually nice, and they do make people want to improve their performance.
When people don't do what we want them to, they're often punished by us. If your boss tells you to "do this" or "do this amount," for example, you should do it. Why should I have to do anything other than follow the rules? You're not doing as well as your manager thinks you should be, and this only shows that. Do what he says, and you could be demoted or even fired if you don't do it. It's important to note that punishment encourages people to work together rather than compete.
The main problem with praise is that it gets boring. People may try to do better after they get compliments, but they soon give up. Motivating and pushing people all the time is the only way for them to truly do well at what they do. Even when things aren't going well, we need to keep going. Only then will we be able to see how much we can do.