Motivational Interviewing - How to Motivate Yourself to Do More and Be More
I was listening to the Tim Ferriss Podcast this Monday morning and he was interviewing Daniel Pink. About halfway through the episode, Tim asked Daniel to describe Motivational Interviewing.
Daniel said that Motivational Interviewing is a therapeutic technique that he learned from a friend at the Yale School of Medicine. The technique is very simple and Daniel thinks that it can be applied to nearly anything that someone can be struggling with, whether it be motivation for going to the gym or trying to get a kid motivated for an algebra test.
The technique doesn’t have to be applied by an external source and Tim notes that it can be great for those that journal their thoughts and experiences. I agree with Tim - this is a great addition to anyone’s daily notes and journaling and it’s a quick, simple and effective way to root out one’s desires and motivations for accomplishing any task.
The Algebra Example
So the Algebra example basically goes like this:
Jack’s not doing well in Algebra and his parents and teachers don’t know how to get him to sit down and study for his upcoming exam. They’ve tried to bribe him and they’ve tried to force him to study but nothing works.
They decide to give him a “Motivational Interview.” So they sit down with Jack and ask him: "on a scale of 1-10, how motivated are you to do well on this upcoming Algebra exam?” Jack replies, “3 out of 10”.
The following question is the key to this technique, Jack’s parents ask him, “why are you a 3 out of 10 and not a 2 out of 10?” Notice that Jack’s parents have turned the tables on what one might expect - you’d normally anticipate a demanding conversation where Jack’s parents berate him with questions about why he’s not a 9 out of 10 or a 10 out of 10 as far as motivation goes - school is important to them and is the only thing that should matter in Jack’s life, right?
But Jack’s parents know better, they know the motivational interviewing technique and they apply this kind of “reverse psychology” to Jack and ask him why he doesn’t have even less motivation to do well on the Algebra exam. By doing this, Jack now has to think of reasons why he’s motivated enough to be a 3 and why he even cares at all about the Algebra exam.
Jack could have all kinds of answers for why he’s a 3 and not a 2:
- “I want to pass the class so I can graduate later on”
- “If I do poorly on this test, I’ll probably do poorly on the following tests”
- etc etc etc.
Jack has just listed all of the reasons why he should be motivated to do well on the test and he has now brought those motivations to the forefront of his mind.
The Gym Example
The gym example is really applicable to a lot of people and I actually asked myself this same series of questions to figure out how motivated I am to work out and why I am motivated to do so. I also recommend writing this down, writing things down really solidifies your responses and allows you a better perspective into your own line of thinking.
Just ask yourself, “On a scale of 1-10, how motivated am I to go to the gym today?”
You write, “I’m a 4 out of 10”. Then ask yourself, “Why aren’t I a 3 out of 10?”
Again you write:
- “I’m not a 3 out of 10 because I want to lose weight and look better before the summer is here.”
- “I’m not a 3 out of 10 because I want to live a healthy lifestyle and live longer and happier.”
- “I’m not a 3 out of 10 because a part of me actually enjoys working out.”
- “I’m not a 3 out of 10 because after I work out, I always feel 10x better than when I started.”
- etc etc etc.
I urge you to try the technique yourself. You can either share your responses in the comments below, or keep them to yourself if you’d rather not share your responses. You can just run through the technique in your head, but I recommend writing it down - writing things down makes everything clearer and more solid. Also, if you ever confront the same issue, you can go back to the responses you gave previously and re-learn your motivations for doing something!! Happy Monday!
Here's the Question of The Day, don't forget to post your answers in the comments!
Did you try the Motivational Interviewing technique on a task that's pestering you in life right now? Do you find yourself with a clearer motivational picture of why you should do whatever it is that you're trying to get motivation for?
Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave your thoughts below and I look forward to seeing you in the comments!
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don't motivate yourself , that doesn't work, ask yourself what you gonna do today if you know you gonna die tomorrow?
True, but without motivation you will fast lose the goal. For example you will say i will run 200 kilometres, but you are fat. A guy will start running, after 5 kilometres he will say ohh shit why I'm doing it? I will not die tommorow and will say I don't care, i quit. A guy who will run whit motivated people, after 5 kilometres will say guys sorry, but I will quit and other people will say cmon you can do it. After 200 kilometres you will be really happy and you will know that you finnaly moved the mountains. Ofcourse you can argument about my example, but we all understand that being ready mentaly and being motivated we can go to the moon!
Nice ..
I liked this way .. great advice from you
Thanks for sharing
Mehn I love this. While I was reading and got to the point where they asked Jack why he is 3 out of 10 and not 2 out of 10 I was like wow...The question got me. Jack could have easily said 0 out of 10 but the truth is, there is always something inside of us that doesn't want to fail of be left behind. The problem is that we refuse to feed that and let our lazy ass lead us.
This motivational interviewing is really the bomb and I will be using it on not just myself, but on others too...Nice piece here.
Yes! I was the same way when I was listening to the podcast, the question really got me fired up. It's seems so obvious and so fundamental, but it really is an amazingly simple way of "feeding" the inner motivation that we all have inside of us. Most people tend to the fire of laziness by choosing the easy way out and continuously thinking of the reasons why they don't want to do something rather than stoking the fire that tells us why we actually want to do something and want to reap the benefits from doing so!
I hope you do and please let me know how it goes for you, if you want to share your responses here, I would also love to see your thinking process as you answer the questions!
I was recently reading an article about how important it is to "design the default" and combined with this article, I feel like I have seriously upgraded my motivation game. If I practice being mindful of the reasons I do want to do something, it will become easier to work in that manner. Our brains are fantastic in that they are able to send us on crazy adventures when we aren't actively engaging it, but we can really unlock a ton of potential by mindful willpower. Neural connections for a specific skill can get stronger and more diverse when we work at it often, so we can build quite a motivation machine with the right mental exercises. Thank you so much for sharing this tool, @khaleelkazi!
And @sistem, you and I had the exact same reaction, that question caught me off guard and that's how I know how much I needed to read this today.
Apologies to answer with a question but what if they went with 1 out of 10 or 0 out of 10. The first step is to get over it and break the problem into parts. Doing them piece by piece will make it less overwhelming. Often times I do not do something is because it seems too long or difficult to do. By focusing and finishing just a little I progress further down the road. Although I take longer than usual to get something done. Maybe I should use this motivational interviewing to speed up the process. lol. Thanks.
Right
Eureka! I think you may be on to something. I have little girls who would rather fight with me than get motivated to do the things they should be doing. I am DEFINITELY going to try this when they are struggling with completing homework, headed out to an activity, or study for that test.
I only fear they will say 0 out of 10 and wonder how I will handle that. Why not negative 1?
I also had this light bulb reaction to this technique! Please let me know how it works out for you, I'd love to hear your results with it!
Yeah I could see how that would throw a wrench in it. I don't think they could really say 0 unless they weren't being forthcoming with you and with themselves. Nobody cares 0 about anything going on their life. Maybe the question can somehow be phrased in a way that doesn't allow 0 to be an option. I'll think on it!
Lol, now that would be a problem, well incase they say that please let us know how the -1 technique works out
Ok this is the best thing I have read all day! What a GREAT idea! I will be trying this on all of my clients! :)
Thanks @annemariemay! I appreciate your kind words! Please let me know how it works for you and your clients, I'd love to hear about it!
I will! :)
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this technique is uncommon, we usually demand more than the normal standards... now, when applying this technique you tend to confuse the person a little? Maybe Jack expected one thing and got another? This technique seems interesting, I think I will investigate it a little more and maybe apply it to myself to encourage me to go to the gym.
Excuse my English use translator
Yes it is really uncommon to do this technique. I think it can catch people off guard! Please let me know how it works for you in motivating yourself to hit the gym, would love to hear about that! And you're all good with the English translator, you left some great thoughts here!
I'm sure I'll give you the details, just give me a little time, thank you for your kind comment, happy evening.
I read this post yesterday but decided not to make a comment because I wanted to try it out. Well, I just did. I have been struggling to prove a formula. I gave myself 3 hours to prove it. Then I asked myself why not 4 hours or 6 hrs or one day? I answered the questions myself by saying because I need to move on to other things which require this result. Failure in finishing early will result in failure in achieving my goal. So I sat back and faced it head long. Guess what? I finished in an hour and about 20 minutes.
Thanks for the tip.
It works!
That’s fantastic, I’m glad you tried it out! So you found the motivation for why you want to finish the formula faster and then realized that you could leverage that motivation to accomplish the task?
Great example, I hope more people take after your initiative @jeffiyaro! Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work!
The pleasure is mine.
Hi @khaleelkazi, thanks for this post. As my fiancé and I approach the day when we decide to have kids within the next few years, we're often discussing different scenarios of disciplining and parenting styles that we plan on implementing. I find this very applicable in sales as well. I really liked the motivational interviewing technique and approach - it helps the person flip their perspective and concentration from all the negative reasons they can't/won't, and they start to focus on why they can/will, and why it's not so bad after all.
Hey @ericphan! Thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts and how you plan on using the approach! I'd love to hear how it works out for you in both parenting and sales! Have you tried using the technique on anything yet?