Have you ever seen or met someone who represents someone you fear you might turn out like when you are old?

 There is someone like that for me in my village. He is known as "the fallen professor".

He turned 70 years old last week and suffers from Multiple sclerosis. He drinks heavily to numb the constant pain and also walks with a crutch. He was once a highly respected architect but those days are long gone. People tend to ignore him because of his drinking because when he drinks too much he can become quite hostile.

People who follow my blog know that I live in a quite little village with about 2000 other inhabitants. Living in such a small community, well I suppose I don't need to say the obvious in that everyone pretty much knows each other. As an artist I run my own small gallery which has its own little cafe attached. So when I m not selling paintings I might be helping out in the cafe selling coffee. And it was in the cafe that I first met "the professor". He was hostile to begin with but I persevered. I wanted to know how he ended up in this bitter state. I wanted to know for the very reason of the title of this blog. Because for me, this person represented someone I secretly feared I might end up like. A bitter and twisted old drunk whom people laughed at and ignored. And on top of that, having a worn out body that was incessantly painful.

To me that was a living hell on earth.
Forgive me, but it was by providing the poor fellow with wine that I learned his story. Little by little, glass by glass he told of how he was once the shining star of the architect world until one day he got a hair-brained idea to build a hotel under water. He was so convinced of this idea that he risked everything he had on it, even though all his friends, family and work colleagues all told him it would not work. Then, back in the 1970s, someone in the Bahamas actually built such a underwater hotel. It lasted no more than a year before going bankrupt and today that hotel is a rusting old piece of junk at the both of the ocean. However, still he was convinced that his hotel would work. In the end it destroyed his reputation and therefore his career. Work dried up and no one would touch him with a barge pole. He began to become bitter which inevitably lead to trouble with his marriage. Then he got the news that he had multiple sclerosis. What can I say, when the soul is in pain the body cries out. Right?
This lead to his wife divorcing him saying that she would; "not be burdened looking after a sick self pitying old man for the rest of her life" A year later his ex wife re-married one of his best friends.
A tough blow by anyones standards.
                             
Three years went by and the professor became even more bitter with life. But then, as if the universe felt sorry for the guy, he met another woman. And this woman was perfect for him. He grew to love her with all his heart and slowly, very slowly be began to feel happier. He had about two years of this happiness when it was suddenly interrupted with the news that his love and saviour had breast cancer. By all accounts she was very brave and put up a good fight, but she died. The professor had tears in his eyes when he told me that part. And then he quickly downed his glass of red wine and asked if he could have another. After hearing that how could I deny the poor bastard another drink? 

It has always been in my nature to want to help the underdogs in life. 

In school I would try hard to protect the smaller kids from the bullies in the play ground and later defend my fellow work mates from tyrannical bosses.
I thought long and hard on how I could somehow help to make the life of the "fallen professor" a little less of a burden. However, I was at a loss.
In the end I made a deal with the old guy that he could have a free meal in the cafe three days a week but he had to pay for the wine himself. I figured he would drink wine anyway, however, I did not want to be a part of his addiction and so this way I at least knew he would get a decent meal. On the days he was not in the cafe he would either visit his daughter or take a bus ride into the city.

Whenever I get the chance I sit with him and try to lift his spirits. I also encourage others to sit with him. Over the years he has mellowed somewhat and has even made some knew friends in the cafe of whom he chats with while he has his meal. It is clear he has come to love these chats and I must admit it warms my heart whenever I see the old guy smile or even laugh occasionally.
What makes me laugh though, is that, every now and again, he brings in his old architect plans for his underwater hotel and asks me if I want to invest in it. His mind must be going because he has asked me four times and each time I have to pretended it was the first time I have heard his failed dream scheme.  

As I said, he turned 70 last week...

 and I wonder how much longer I will see him sitting in his usual place in my gallery cafe and how many times he will ask me to invest in his hotel? I asked if he would go for a walk so I could do a sketch of him. He looked at me as though it was me who had lost his mind but then agreed after I told him I had gotten him a bottle of wine for his birthday.
While in the park I made some quick sketches, and while I was drawing, he opened the bottle and took a long swig. (Look carefully at his shoes on the drawing and you will see that I have used his finger prints as the texture.) I later scanned in the drawing and coloured it up on photoshop. I plan to get if framed and hang it on wall in the cafe this coming summer season.

Some of the locals say that I am a good person for giving him free meals whereas others call me a mug.
"There for the grace of God go I", My grandmother used to say.
If I am being brutally honest, I really do not know if I am motivated by pity or of fear. Of course I have pity for the guy, but as I said, in him I see the man that I fear I might end up like. And what if I did? Well I suppose I would sincerely wish someone would take notice of me, listen to me, chat with me and help make the remainder of my life a little less painful.
So you see, I do not know if this makes me a good person or not?
If there is a God up there some where, then I guess I will find out when I leave this life.
But in the mean time, I told the professor about all the good people on Steemit and he has asked me to ask everyone if there was anyone interested in investing in an underwater hotel.
  

Thanks for visiting my blog and I wish you a warm welcome back in advance next time.