You're a lot more patient than I am. Back in those days probable cause was enough for me to have flown off the handle in a similar situation and guest's boyfriend would have permanent lifelong injuries (and guest probably would no longer be my friend and I'd probably have a criminal record).
I remember reading a thing on the mailing list once, and paraphrasing to fit here, you had two holes in your heart, a cat-shaped hole and a Dixie-shaped hole. Cleo and Merlin have filled the cat-shaped hole, but nothing will ever fill the Dixie hole. She sounds like she was an awesome cat and can relate to Faith, when I got my cats I couldn't stop smiling for ages afterwards either xD
I know what you mean when you're referring to a "default" life but with my predilection for overthinking the crap out of everything, I can't help wondering how to default something like life when there's almost infinite options and parameters ^_^; [slinks away]
Ours was looking pretty good until we had kids, and then all our plans unravelled and life is now boring (default?) by normal standards XD
Hey, yes I am not sure how I managed not to stab that guy in the neck with a fork...It was my sister's boyfriend though and I controlled myself for her benefit. She's not with him now so if I see him...It will not go well for him.
You're right about Dixie, we will miss her forever. We have a photo of her over our bedhead. I look at it daily.
Life throws up challenges and children are certainly one that takes a person down different paths...Not that I know, but I surmise. All we can do is make the most of what we are given, that's what design and create means. We have to take some ownership of our own lives. If a person does that then default-life is less likely.