Memories and tapestries

in OCD5 years ago

It's a long weekend here in Adelaide and Faith and I have been taking great advantage of it; The weather has been pretty sweet and we've found a nice balance of being outdoors and indoors.

Since Friday evening we've been sorting through a lot of printed photos, organising them and discarding as required.

We have many printed photos because digital cameras didn't exist when we were younger and considering Faith and I have been together since 1987 we have piles of them from our lives together. It's been a lot of fun sorting them to be honest, much different to sitting in front of the computer looking at digital images and I have to say, there's been a lot of laughter in the process.

We've come across many funny photos, bad ones too, and the memories they've inspired, looking back on our lives, has been rewarding. Of course, we've also come across photos that bring a degree of sadness, or mixed-emotion and you can see a few of those here. (These photos are photos of photos which is why the quality isn't that good.)

This little white bundle of fur is our cat Dixie.

I gave her to my wife, as a kitten, for a gift and she quickly became the most important thing we had. We loved her a lot but Faith and Dixie had a pretty special relationship that went beyond simple pet-owner bonds. They were inseparable and and would often spend hours hanging out and talking, yes I say talking because I actually think they understood each other. Dixie brought us amazing joy and we poured a lot of love and emotion into that little cat; She returned it, with interest, too. She was a wonderful little thing. (This image was taken the day I gave Dixie to Faith. I don't think Faith stopped smiling for weeks.)

We had Dixie for ten happy years and would have had that pampered little thing for many more had we not lost her.

We noticed she was having breathing difficulties one day and took her to the vet; She had an emergency operation that evening. After two weeks in pet-hospital she was permitted to come home, but she died, in Faith's arms, that evening. It is still painful to think about it. That was eight years ago.

I think what makes it worse for us is that her injuries, several erratically broken ribs on one side, were conducive with a kick to the side. Yes, someone kicked our cat very hard.

I know who it was; The boyfriend of an interstate guest we had in the house the few days before Dixie's breathing difficulties began...But I cannot prove it. If I could, that person would have found themselves in hospital, or worse.

Anyway, we spent some time going through hundreds of Dixie photos laughing, and crying also...After a time we simply felt grateful to have had her in our lives and have the memories and experiences that came along with her.

We have Merlin and Cleo now, and feel the same way about them, but Dixie was a special little thing and we both miss her very much. I don't think that emotion will go away. We had ten amazing years with that little ball of fur and despite the fact losing her cost us so much pain and sorrow we would not change anything. Well, we have changed something...No one stays at our home anymore. Literally no one; We will not risk a repeat performance of what happened with Dixie.

A great man once said;

“Remember tonight...for it is the beginning of always”

I couldn't agree more; It's no wonder Dante was such a celebrated poet. He's captured the true essence of living in the moment and how each moment we live becomesforever in our minds.

Dante Alighieri didn't have the benefit of photographs to record his life back in the 13th and 14th centuries when he lived, but we do and I am thankful for them. He had words though, and some seven hundred years later some of us are still reading them and finding great value in them, like the quote above. It's kind of cool.

I hold to the belief that each moment of our lives should be designed and created to resemble our best version of it; The alternative is a default life, and one not lived fully. It's just my opinion and you can disagree if you like.

I'm not sure where I came across it, but a while ago I started to embrace the concept that life is like a tapestry we create in the image of our choosing; Each memory, action, activity or experience is a thread of our own lives, one we weave into that tapestry.

Looking at my tapestry, Faith's and mine, I have to say it looks pretty good...It is vibrant, full of colourful threads, and despite including sorrow, loss, failure, heartache and disappointment within its weave, there's also success, happiness, fulfilment, love and laughter.

How's your's looking?


Tomorrow isn't promised - Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default
An original post written by a human
Discord: galenkp#9209 🇦🇺

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How's your's looking?

A mixture of doubts, fears, hopes and dreams. Dreams that are very distant but also precious. Dreams that are worth fighting for.

Precious dreams become less distant through affirmative action.

Thanks for replying.

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One of Dante's other works comes to mind where I like to think contains a special layer for animal abusers.

The pain may lessen, but never entirely goes away, from the loss of a loved pet. I still get choked up at times over my baby kitty who has been gone for several years.

I agree, animal-abuser-level of purgatory.

The person made it clear he didn't like cats and several times pushed Dixie quite hard. I called it out and I thought it had stopped. She was a trusting cat though and so I think he managed to get close enough to kick her. Strangely, I also lost a Canon camera lens that weekend, from my camera bag.

From that point no one has stayed at my house, nor will they.

We miss Dixie every day and it hurts a little bit more knowing that her death was avoidable. It's a terrible thing to lose a pet as you clearly know.

Thanks for commenting.

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Omg... how could someone do that to your precious Dixie? What a tragedy. I know years have passed now, but I am so sorry. It would be hard to let go of the anger in that situation and the what ifs. I wish you could have had many more years together.

It was pretty difficult for us at the time. My wife was devastated. I don't know how someone could do such a thing, a house guest too. I've met people who say terrible things about cats...I generally close off to them. Humans can be assholes I guess. Who says hateful things about a pet to its owner?

Thanks for your reply.

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You posts always make me think! You have a great perspective on so many things! Keep posting!!

Thanks, I will...Until I cannot anymore at least. :)

A very touching post @galenkp, what a beautiful, sweet kitten.
I can totally understand the heartbreak of losing Dixie, after all, she was part of the family.
I also have enough prints to paper my entire house, but I will never throw them away because when I am the mood, I will pull out a box of those old pictures and enjoy the past. I will even collect a few and give them to my kids to prove to them I was young once. hehe

Haha, prove you were young huh? I guess that's one good use for them!

We had a blast going through ours, and now have them all organised so we can do so whenever we like.

We miss Dixie. Always will. Thanks for commenting. :)

You're a lot more patient than I am. Back in those days probable cause was enough for me to have flown off the handle in a similar situation and guest's boyfriend would have permanent lifelong injuries (and guest probably would no longer be my friend and I'd probably have a criminal record).

I remember reading a thing on the mailing list once, and paraphrasing to fit here, you had two holes in your heart, a cat-shaped hole and a Dixie-shaped hole. Cleo and Merlin have filled the cat-shaped hole, but nothing will ever fill the Dixie hole. She sounds like she was an awesome cat and can relate to Faith, when I got my cats I couldn't stop smiling for ages afterwards either xD

I know what you mean when you're referring to a "default" life but with my predilection for overthinking the crap out of everything, I can't help wondering how to default something like life when there's almost infinite options and parameters ^_^; [slinks away]

Ours was looking pretty good until we had kids, and then all our plans unravelled and life is now boring (default?) by normal standards XD

Hey, yes I am not sure how I managed not to stab that guy in the neck with a fork...It was my sister's boyfriend though and I controlled myself for her benefit. She's not with him now so if I see him...It will not go well for him.

You're right about Dixie, we will miss her forever. We have a photo of her over our bedhead. I look at it daily.

Life throws up challenges and children are certainly one that takes a person down different paths...Not that I know, but I surmise. All we can do is make the most of what we are given, that's what design and create means. We have to take some ownership of our own lives. If a person does that then default-life is less likely.

Another fine weekend sir galenkp, you guys know how to do it right!

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