We want ourselves and our children to be successful and happy. But we often forget that it is impossible to put an equal sign between these concepts. You can be successful but still feel miserable all the time. And you can constantly experience difficulties in your studies or career, but treat them not as a tragedy, but as a step forward.

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Why are emotions so important?

Life is 10% of what happens to me, and 90% of how I react to it.

The modern world is full of stressful situations that are difficult to cope with even for adults, let alone children. They do not understand and do not know what emotions they are experiencing at one time or another, how to control them, therefore they have a distorted idea of ​​what is happening. This leads to neuroses, apathy and other depressive conditions.

Excessive requirements of teachers, parental self-realization through a child , instilling in a small personality the importance of victory and superiority (many want to be parents of winners) - all this is too heavy a burden for fragile children's shoulders. The heavier this load, the more important it is to deal with the feelings and experiences of the child.

Already in adulthood, we see that people who cannot control their emotions have trouble in all areas of life, including in their careers.

When a person is seized with negative emotions and cannot objectively assess his feelings, desires and capabilities, a destructive effect is provided.

Relations with others deteriorate, a person closes in on himself, loses faith in himself, his strength or his professionalism, becomes irritable, becomes even more confused in his feelings. And then the question arises: "What level of emotional intelligence does he have?"

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Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is responsible for recognizing and correctly interpreting emotions. It is he who endows a person with psychological flexibility and the ability to effectively interact with the outside world.

That is why the concept of "emotional intelligence" was first voiced in relation to building a career and self-realization. However, psychologists immediately grasped the infantile subtext in this, because the fundamental development of the personality occurs precisely in childhood.

For a child, the development of EQ is an opportunity to create a well-established and understandable system of perception that will allow you to effectively interact with people around you, correctly perceive criticism, recognize the feelings of adults and peers and adequately respond to them.

Aggression, apathy, poor sleep, absent-mindedness, inability to establish contacts with peers and other disturbing manifestations in the child's behavior are obvious signals that indicate the need to develop emotional intelligence.

How to develop emotional intelligence from childhood?

The most important thing in the life of any child is parental love. Love your child, show him tenderness and care. Tactile communication between mother and child does not lose its importance for children over infancy.

Love allows each person to feel secure and confident. This is a solid foundation for the development of a successful personality.

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It is also very important to create the right associations with different emotions. Show your child what joy is with a real example. Could it be the smell of cake? Maybe a bell ringing? And friendship? Do you associate friendship with hugs? If not, then what does it look like in your imagination?

Create a colorful and vibrant world around your child, in which every feeling and sensation has its own color, aroma and taste. So you will not only open the doors to the world of emotions for the child, but also get closer to him, further strengthen the trust between you.

A similar method works when reading fairy tales . Don't just read, but play fairy tales, tell children magic stories through a game or a small performance. Play a scene in front of them, use tactile sensations, aromatic oils, appropriate intonation - this will allow the child to feel the whole gamut of sincere emotions that a magical story evokes.

Working on emotional intelligence in childhood is the key to successful development and well-being in the future.

Most likely, such a child, as an adult, will be able to avoid most of the psychological problems that modern society faces today.

Children are more receptive to everything new, their psyche is similar to plasticine - flexible and ingenuous. But what will be molded from this plasticine often depends only on adults. So let's start with ourselves.

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To learn to be aware of yourself here and now, write down the emotion you are experiencing at the moment every three hours. At the end of the day, highlight the prevailing emotion and think about what to work on.

In a couple of weeks you will be able to feel yourself in real time without any complications.

This exercise will be made more effective by a kind of checking - an analysis of the physical state when experiencing a certain emotion. This practice is also good for improving health.

How often are our actions accompanied by rash inertia ? We do not think about what we are doing, but simply perform some habitual, regular manipulation. Exercise "Stop!" is to abruptly interrupt any action in order to get rid of inertia and allow yourself to think about the situation. This is the only way to feel yourself here and now, to start controlling your reality.

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