RE: What Have You Been Exposed To? Contributed by @Olawalium
Wow...
I was just reading this on someone's whatsapp status
Its says 89% of men regularly mistake a woman's friendly behaviour for flirting.
At the same time, It looks like this post is directly talking to me. Lol
I know lot of people reading this too(especially ladies) will feel the same way.
Well to me, I feel it might not always be because there's no trust.... I call it "Securing my territory" hahhahaha
No woman or man will wanna see your spouse or so being too close to someone else(especially opposite sex). Thats what simply makes us human.
Having said that, when one starts accusing your partner of what isnt happening is where the issue comes in. Trust is a very little but weighty word. Its vital for EVERY relationship. When trust is missing... Almost all is gone.
Also, what we have been exposed to can make us think otherwise about our partners, especially influence of friends... Hmmmm some friends have destroyed so many relationships. Our ability to stay put, trust and keep keeping on is what makes us mature.
At the same time, men and women too should understand that, no one is saying you shouldnt have friends, but take it cool with other friends. Thank you.
I can see you talking about been jealous here.. Smile
Anyways, a little but healthy jealous is good for the growth of any relationship, if their is no little jealous, I doubt if the love is there.
But, been jealous cannot be said to mean been suspicious. Suspicion comes in when you are using your past to judge the present negatively. Because your ex behaved in a certain manner each time s/he want to tell lies does not mean your current bf/gf will lie behaving in that manner too. Lol
Though, the different between suspicion and jealous might be so little, but they achieve different result.
One is required to grow relationship, another one can destroy the whole of the relationship...
Those who use their past to judge the present need time to get through it. They cannot just switch all of a sudden. What they have been used to has registered in their mind, and it takes an honest soul to change that, with a lot of patience...but only them can help themselves. They need to deal with it from the inside.
Still on the same matter....
You have to admit something is wrong before you look for the alternative way to get it done....
Our experiences have really shaped us.
I think our response to any situations, and events in our lives are all shaped by our experiences. Our thought process, our mind set, attitude, aspirations, expectations, and social behaviour are all altered or shaped by our experiences.
Hmm, nice one bro. Those are the factors that comes together to form our attitudes. If we are exposed to right ones, we develop good and positive attitudes, the same way we develop bad and negative attitudes when exposed to wrong ones...
There is nothing wrong with marking your territory, but everything calls for a bit of understanding, especially if the person hasn't given you any reason to doubt him. If he has given you reasons to doubt him in time past, then it is understanding that he needs to build the trust, but when he hasn't, its totally wrong to keep holding on to past experiences to judge the present, and the person in question too need to apply a little bit of caution. Everything takes time. Mindset is one of the hardest thing to change. It takes deeper conviction and time.