THR33 DIFFERENT WOMEN. Part 52.
For the third, or possibly fourth, time since he'd accepted his position, Jay was going to do the stupidest thing he'd ever done. Each exponential leap upwards had seemed right at the time. Each escalation had inevitably led on to another. The only certainties applicable now were; he loved Leilani and he loved Tianni. As result of this he wanted them to be happy and whole. On the surface they were both of these things. But he was picking up the same stoicism vibe from Leilani as he did with his charge. The three evenings he'd spent with Leilani had shown him this. He'd caught her looking at his image files. Those of Tianni to be more precise. He'd seen the pain she was feeling, when she didn't know he was looking. They'd talked and talked as well. He now understood most of the obligations she was under, as a princess of Tuvah. She faced years of having to do things which terrified, intimidated and disturbed her. Although she claimed she'd get used to it, develop a thicker skin or stronger psyche, it would wear her down. Erode who he'd found out she was.
Discovering, that beneath the outstanding physical beauty, a greater beauty was hidden, had come as a surprise. A pleasant one of course. All the things she wanted to do, but wouldn't be able to due to her obligations, were either quirky or selfless. That inner glow, the one that faded and died in public or whenever she encountered her niece, would be reduced. Possibly even replaced by cynicism. Having found out who she was, that unique human being was in danger of being lost again. Tianni and Leolani had been soulmates, a state he'd recognized only because he'd seen it with Dale and Sophie. Theirs had been lost from the world. Jay couldn't help thinking he'd been to blame for this. He certainly couldn't have healed what was wrong with his only friend. But he couldn't escape the conclusion he'd contributed to his death. Running around pretending to be some globetrotting big tech entrepreneur, when he should have been back home supporting the couple.
"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were." The quote kept going round in his head over and over again. Its meaning was not lost on him. The hard part was accepting that meaning. Having finally found the one, setting her free was the last thing he wanted to do. It was what he should do. Honor and duty demanded it. This was going to hurt far more than getting shot. Shania wouldn't be able to stitch this wound closed. Set her free he must. With the skills, support and equipment necessary for Leilani to remain true to herself. He knew what this would do to their relationship, especially if it went to plan. There was also a strong chance the special bonds he had with Tianni would weaken. He'd no longer be necessary, except as a bodyguard. That wouldn't last either.
The idea came to him while he was working. Sitting in the office, with very little to do thanks to the system Miles had put in place. The bastard still refused to return. Jay thought back to that first night, when he'd awoken to find Miles in his room. His boss had keys to everything. A swift check showed they were now in his possession. There was nowhere off limits. Not even Palau's bedroom. This newly discovered power led to the formation of his ludicrous scheme. Combined with his faith in who Tianni and Leilani were, it was clear. He'd have to deceive two people he cared about enormously. For their own good. Was it honorable? The answer was impossible to calculate. It was his duty. If not this then some other ruse or scheme. There might not be time though. He still didn't know when they'd be leaving. Come to think of it, he didn't know why either. His time as a soldier had beaten that kind of curiosity out of him. Go there. Do that. Come back. Rinse and repeat.
The simplicity bothered him. How could such a complete betrayal of trust be so easy? Two internal calls was all it took. One to Miss Boyle, to explain what he needed her to do when school finished for the day. A small favor a few hours later. Second call to Leilani, the lie freezing the blood in his veins. They weren't going to suffer and die, yet part of him would. Of all the shitty things he'd done in his pointless existence, this seemed the worst. The con was on. How had his dad ever managed to do things like this on a regular basis? They were more alike than he'd ever thought. The fix was in, his soul would burn for eternity.
When Leilani greeted him with a hug and a kiss, he almost lost it. To the extent she knew something was amiss. He lied and he lied, as he died inside. That went round his head while he led her along. Down from the top floor to the room with only one door and no windows. There'd once been a snooker table in there, so he'd been told. Jay had, had to look up what snooker was. He urged her to hurry, she grew excited and that made this so much worse. She expected a surprise. Not the one she found when she was three paces into the room. Jay locked the door as she hammered on it screaming with rage.
"You bastard. How could you? I hate you. I hate you. I hate you."
There was a lot more. It followed him as he mounted those stairs again. It was for the best, he kept telling himself. Stuck in a room with Tianni, they'd both have to talk at some point. They might not leave as close confidantes, but a barrier would have been crossed. A line of communication opened up between them. Palau would see to it they got back together, as was right and proper. What he'd done though? The ends didn't always justify the means. They might do in this case, and he might not be there to find out. Tianni had been cruelly tricked as well. Holly would be along later to let them out. Now he just wanted to lie down and die.
Avoiding any eye contact, Jay slithered his way back to his rooms. Lost and lonely, he stood there for an epoch. His mind unable to cope with what he'd done for the best. The paradoxical laughter took over as he thought of Nando. The next he knew, he was on his knees sobbing. Feeling sorry for himself, he bitterly admitted. The scorn he felt for what he'd done was overwhelming. Nothing would repair the damage he'd caused to those who trusted him the most. Drink himself unconscious, that's what he needed to do. Climbing to his feet, he headed for the fridge. Nothing there to intoxicate or anesthetize him. One of the kitchen cupboards held a bottle of Chivas Regal, containing an egg cup full of whiskey. He smashed it against the wall. This had to be close to how much she hated him.
It was getting dark. How long had he been standing among the scattered shards of glass? It didn't matter. He couldn't leave this for someone else to clean up. That would be a small wrong on top of a huge one. One he couldn't remedy, the other he could. It was something to do. It kept his hands busy while his brain imploded. Sinking deeper and deeper into that self pity he found so loathsome. The knock jolted him out of his reverie. Oh shit, he must have made some noise that had been heard. He wasn't aware of having screamed and shouted. That didn't mean anything, it was pitch dark, the only illumination the moon. The glass had been cleared up long ago.
The knock was louder this time. He didn't want to open the door. Raising his voice after disturbing others would be spiteful. He swung it open, excuse prepared. It was a flashback he'd say. The excuse died prematurely. Leilani stood there, her eyes were slits. She was panting. With fury of course. Much as he couldn't deal with her outrage right now he'd have to.
"You look like shit." She snapped, pushing past him. Flicking on the lights as she entered. "By all rights I should spend the next six months slowly torturing you to death." He nodded, unable to tear his gaze away from the floor. "It's what I planned to do, all the way here. Then I realized you were already doing that to yourself." On the edge of his vision, something dropped to the floor. Jay couldn't be bothered to see what it was. He didn't have the energy. "You asshole, prick, fuck, mother fucker. I need to learn more swear words because of you. I won't be able to use them most of the time, but they'll come in handy. Look at me." Her commanding tone made him wince and shake his head. "Look at me Jay. You owe me that at least." No matter how hard he tried to process what he saw, it didn't make sense. She was naked. Still frowning at him. "Now you're going to carry me to your bed, where you will make love to me. Not sex. Love. I thought it was worth giving it a try. What have I got to lose? Get a move on. I'm horny as hell, but I insist on a lot of foreplay. And I do mean a lot."
The speed with which he'd risen from hell to heaven, drained all the blood from his head. He didn't need it there anyway. It would only cause questions and other useless words to spill from his mouth. Which had far more important things to attend to. He'd be taking things slowly. It had been a long time and much more important things than his brain were in danger of exploding.