MISS YOU STEEMIT. Tell you about my depression [HELP]
It's been some time since my last time here.
I stopped to write my thoughts because I didn't have anything special to give to you. But now I want to tell you what happened to me and what this fucking problem shows to me and changed the way I saw the life.
I left school. It was a level 5 course that will gives me the knowledge to get a job in programming.
I tried to stay connected on programming and I study every single day to follow my dream.
Time flies and my family started "hating me" and ignoring what I say, what I feel ... so I stay alone with my thoughts and just that.
My family were all against me because "I don't want to work or study". Please family ,you destroyed me and my life. Miss you dad :(
So, time flies again and I got a depression. I felt so anger of my my life and I started to kick a mirror in my bedroom because I hated the image of me but it never broke.
One day I broke a glass board and my mom tried to talk to me and get from me what was happening with me . I was so bad and I remember that I said to her: I'll take my own life and she said to me " I wont feel bad for it, you know what you do. Fuck!!!!!
She called my grandfather and him and my brother hit me! OMG was so fucking horrible and my girlfriend watched the horror :(
Since that moment I am the bastard of family but I learnt that I don't need them to stay motivated to life and follow my dreams.
I think you are very brave for sharing this with us. I know the feeling of being an outcast even by your own family. Most important thing is that you never forget the value you have. Allthough the closest of kin may not see it, there are people out there who will love you for who you are. It may take a while before you meet them, bet never give up. Be yourself, Always, cause that's the best version of who you can be. Hope you will share your thoughts so others can see they are not the only ones dealing with these problems. Stay strong!
Big words! Thank you friend!
wishing you happiness! i have been through similar... consistent meditation saved me
@eiawo gym is my meditation but at I can't still sleep at nights :|
i hear you.. i too have been through that, it is horrible when all you want is a good night sleep but you can't - let me give you some tips.. When you get into bed, instead of saying to yourself i want to sleep say to yourself i am going to lie here and get comfy and if i go to sleep then that is good - mind tricks - Start with a deep breath in, not so it is uncomftable but as deep as you can go and then slowly out, do this 2-3 times then with your breathing back to normal put your focus on the feeling of resting on your pillow, then notice your body, feel different parts of your body against your bed, do loops of this always going back to your pillow.. by focussing on such simple things eventually you will relax your mind which may allow you to drift off.. be easy, don't be hard on yourself.. if your mind is racing get up and do something for 15 mins..i wish you the best..
I am going to be posting more stuff relating to becoming happy, follow me if you want
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