The more I experience the school system and the more I read, the more I see we as parents are removed from our own parental rights over our children. It is sad that we cannot find proper help without fingers pointing us as bad parents. Shoving it down our throats. Instead of expecting us to do good by our kids they expect us that we don't and violently push unto us on what is non of their business. I hate it.
I hope things get better for you and that you find the answers needed to help your boy.
I don't know if this will help you, but perhaps in a way to bring peace to your mind in some way... I want to a First Nations shop over the summer holiday and found answer feathers. I bought one and gifted it to a dear friend of mine. Made her very happy :) Perhaps the right questions may give you solace in your journey. I wish for the best for you all.