ULOG 22- NEXT TIME I'LL BE BETTER |Mt. 387-Nueva Ecija

In spite of what happened that weekend, there’s still a lot I need to flushed up out of me.

I know I can’t be this happy or clean. I mean, I was meant to be crashed all along. I guess? Like the other trips which I have gotten my genuine happiness.

This time, I’ve got my revenue from the genuine solitude I’ve worked hard for- I’ve got real sick.

But it’s not a big deal.

Mt. 387 is something I can’t have out of an ordinary day. It was a wonderful experience.

…

“The world is so beautiful, but why it is so hard to live?”

That was the question, I begged for an answer. I can’t stop the tears streaming on my face. They are flowing with the cold droplets of rain, and the gloomy mist around me.

Lucky for me that I had the chance to make myself a lone time.

I’ve got my spot. I placed my heart on my sleeves and let it rest; and let it question the word… the universe rather. :)

I was so anxious, so confused, and so afraid.

I don’t even want to know who I want to be. Not because I’m afraid that other people won’t like me, but because I am afraid that I might not like me.

“The world is so beautiful, but why it is so hard to live?”

I can’t stop asking the wind, the trees, the clouds and what’s not. But it felt like the Universe keeps on turning its back when my heart talks.

Maybe I was alone. I asked for it. Maybe I was gone, form the things I wanted to flee from. But I realized, I was never away from myself, which I hate the most.

Why there are black holes? Why does a star die, when it all does is to shine?

…

“The world is so beautiful, but why it is so hard to live?”

I can’t have an answer. Maybe I will never have.

But I shoot an imaginary arrow, farther than what I can see. Like a dart thrown on a map. I must look for it, and that’s where I will see myself again.

Maybe I’ll ask him the same question. And maybe I’ll have the answer.

But if not, I will still keep on shooting and looking and waiting.

Before I know it- maybe, just maybe, somebody else would tell me why.

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