I’m giving Tinderland a two months break

piotry (25)in #tinder • 8 years ago (edited)

This story was first released on my blog.

On February 14th, 2017, I started serializing Tinderland. The feedback I got along the way helped me sharpen the content of the stories. However, I claimed I had found a ‘way out’ of sexual addiction, but the further I edited the book, the more obvious it became that nothing had changed. I might be slightly better off than a year ago, but I was still stuck in the same addictions.

To make things worse, when on May 8th I released the last free Chapter, I had no idea what to do next. Should I serialize the second season, knowing that the storyline was weak?

I decided to hold on publishing further chapters, and instead, focus on marketing what is already out there. To do so, I decided to hire an editor to help me frame things better. Working with her encouraged me to outline the book, which only confirmed the distorted flow of content. She told me that so far, the book is a sort of diary-like description of what happened, but I felt it looked more like a horrible Frankenstein-like construct.

I cannot forget the night of April 27th where I was drained of energy and motivation. I couldn’t run anymore away from the truth that nothing has changed and that every single method, trick, or theory I tried had all failed. Whenever I faced a new challenge, my system crumbled and I escaped in my addictions.

I wanted to cry out for help, but I didn’t know who or what could help me.
I needed to be saved!

Coincidentally, I found in my Tinderland notes a link to the meditation sub-reddit. When I landed there, one of the posts was from a user describing her year-long experience with a particular meditation technique which I won’t reveal yet.

The book spoke about a 10 stage path at the end of which was the promise to regain insane levels of focus and concentration. This method is based on a rigorously scientific method and is indifferent to religious Buddhist rituals. I was willing to try anything to save myself, so, I forced myself to take a break for a couple of days, and do nothing else than reading and applying the methods of the book.

Today, May 27th marks a month since I sat down for the first time and meditated. The results have been stunning, and anyone who’s been in touch with my daily life would have noticed the behavioral, habitual, and energy level changes that happened in me.

I finally found what looks like the way out, or what I like to call as the ‘middle path.' I have finally awakened to what I could be, but I need time to walk the path. It is as if I finally saw the mountain ahead, but I still need to climb it. Because I just started out, and because this journey should occupy a more important part of Tinderland, I am sharing two news:

The Bad News: I will not touch Tinderland for at least the next two months. This should give me time to validate the path.
The Good News: Once I feel confident that the transition is done, I am most probably going to rewrite the book from scratch. This means that even though you might be re-reading the same events, the story structure will be different.

Two months is a LOT of time, so here are a couple of the things I know I’ll be spending time on.

First, cryptocurrencies are booming. If you don’t know about bitcoin or altcoins, or the blockchain, I would strongly recommend you read up a bit about them, because I am confident that these technologies are going to change out lives. I am personally looking into ways to make a dent there.

Second, if you don’t believe that virtual coins will change your life, wait until you read about ASI. Many AI experts worry that ASI might decide to wipe us out. However, the path I’m following is based on philosophical ideas that, I believe, will not only prevent ASI from deciding to wipe us out but make it choose to help us out. More on this in future posts and stories.

All in all, exciting times.

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#story #mindfulness #buddhism #update