Date with memories

(the Rabbit Hole; my wife and I love it)

I took my wife for a surprise date this past weekend. Just the two of us. It was a pleasant surprise for her because sadly I am not a romantic person.

Make no mistake I love and admire her greatly.

For example, in the midst of all my medical dramas she was there for me, helping me all the way. Her passionate and loving nature helped me keep my boat afloat and survive.

(hard to believe that was me)

My youngest child, irritatingly just like her father (me), asks me on a daily basis “what have you done for your wife (her mother) today?” Most days I am sad to confess, nothing really. We like to watch a show together as a family when we eat. Afterwards I take the plates and glasses to the kitchen. I like to think I help but my efforts are pretty paltry when compared to hers. Often I put myself in her shoes and try to think what life is like for her; would I like to be in her situation? Not really I must admit.

When I went to my water aerobics class yesterday, towards the end of the class I felt terrible and started coughing incessantly. My chest was tight and my throat was sore. I thought I was catching a cold or something, but I had a sneaking suspicion. I struggled through a shower and went home. My legs were heavy like lead. When I got inside and settled down I started feeling better. My wife was anxious and wanted to take me off to casualty. I scoffed the suggestion off. I took out my phone and had a look at the Garmin App (I wear the watch that measures certain physical activities such as sleep patterns, heart rates, steps and so on). I saw that my heart rate during the class was 160 beats per minute. That was ten beats higher than anything I had ever done before. I had pushed myself too hard. Idiot! My wife was not impressed at all. Today I will take it easier. When I exercise, I always tell myself that my body lies to me and I must push through, I guess that is not the right approach. I see her anxiety and I will respect that, I must go a bit slower in the pool in future.

Anyway, back to the date…

(Inside the arty Rabbit Hole)

We went to a little restaurant called the Rabbit Hole in Krugersdorp. We chose a seat near the fire place. While we were waiting for the meal, a cat walked by. My wife, Michele, loves cats. Immediately she engages the cat in conversation, much to our amusement, the beast replies to her. The cat then comes closer to allow us the honour of stroking it. My heart is immediately warmed by her affection towards the animal.

It brings back memories of all of our pets through the past 28 years of marriage together. The birds, cats and dogs. Our times together, always good because she is so kind to them. If a cat sulks it amuses us no end. Michele cannot leave the creatures alone, she has to pick them up and “love them” with hugs. It irritates our current cats so much, Nancy endures it uncomfortably, Stormy seems to like it (but she has to be caught first) and Astro won’t allow it at all. But Michele never gives up.

When we go to bed at night it upsets her that the miserable beasts prefer sleeping on my side of the bed, not hers. Obviously the beasts know it irritates me and upsets her. That is what a cat is all about, unlike sycophantic dogs.

(Teddy the noble one)

The greatest love of all of our beasts was a cat by the name of Teddy. His mother was of pure linage but she had a liaison with a male of questionable genealogy. So Teddy had beautiful long hair like his Persian mother but a longer nose than her thanks to his unknown father. The result was the most beautiful cat. He didn’t only look beautiful he was beautiful. When Michele bathed, he would sit on the side and droop his tail in the hot water. He also consented to Michele draping him around her neck as she worked in the kitchen. He was also a fierce hunter who brought her many gifts. Sometimes he would lose interest in his victims and we would have quite a time removing fearful rodents from various bedrooms. He did not mind the introduction of other kittens and it was so funny watching this big cat tiptoeing after a kitten or fleeing, depending on their rules of play at the time.

To share your life with someone good who has the same dreams and goals makes it worthwhile. No one is perfect and the acceptance of another’s weaknesses, just as we accept our own, gives us a good life regardless of struggles and tragedies along the way. The bigger the problems overcome, the greater the sense of achievement and joy when the dark tunnel eventually gives way to wide open vistas of sunlight and hope.

So regardless of where you are on your journey of life, just setting out or closing in on the departure lounge, enjoy the journey, as its where you are that you live. Can’t ever live in the past or in the future. Those are just memories to learn from or goals and hopes to strive for.

Sometimes when she and the girls are watching TV and it is a romantic show, I love observing the emotions flickering on each of their faces, their empathy for even characters portrayed on a TV show, their happiness and sadness so clearly evidenced. I feel like an intruder looking through a lounge window at an unsuspecting family (sounds a bit dodgy doesn’t it?). There is mystery in every moment of every day, you just have to know how to look for it and how to interpret it.

Try live so that you can have good memories, those are the REAL photos of life.