THR33 DIFFERENT WOMEN. Part 51.

They disengaged self consciously. Leilani tugging down her sweater, Jay had to assume that was his work. Even though he couldn't recall doing it. His own shirt had been pulled out of his pants. What had they been up to while lost in that embrace?

"I'd like to take it slowly... not.. jump straight into bed.. I know we've.. But I..."
She kept stumbling on, until Jay recovered enough of his wits to come to her aid.
"I think slowly would be fantastic."
His subconscious motivation possibly being to drag this doomed relationship out as long as possible. Although he and Tianni would be leaving before too long. That would put a full stop to things. Would it be days or weeks? Which would be best?
"Do you think we can salvage enough to eat?"
The tentative smile lit up her face. It set fire to his chest at the same time.
"I've got snacks. Breakfast cereal and potato chips? Not much milk though."
"What flavour?"
"It's a multipack. Four flavors. I'm not sure which ones."
"As your guest do I get first choice?" That smile went up several notches, his heart melted then evaporated.
"Of course. I know how to show a beautiful woman a great time."
He swivelled to open the cupboard, her hand stroked his raised arm.
"Believe it or not, this is a great time Jay. For me at least."
"Me too. Would you like to set the table?" He held out the large packet, sweeping his other arm towards the dining area.
She grabbed the bag from him, split open and dumped the entire contents.
"Dinner is served."

Every magical moment was permanently etched into his memory. The reality of their situation pushed firmly into the distant background. They were able to salvage some of the food he'd ruined, with a little help from Leilani. The over cooked rice, which had been failing to cook for an hour, made quite a good dip. They fed each other from the blackened saucepan. How had he never done this before? Easily answered, he'd never been in love before. He'd only ever been with women for the company. Followed by recreational sex, if it was available. It generally was. Not many of their names had stuck in his head. Most of them he wouldn't have been able to describe. Not even the sex was memorable.

They even did the washing up together. Not that there was a lot. The water went cold twice as they fooled around even so. Doing next to nothing with her was better than anything he could imagine. They talked in between kisses. Him lying on his sofa with her on top. Her fingers tracing his muscles before she started to remove his shirt. Where was this heading? He tried to sit up. Leilani shushed him, gently pushing him back before she resumed unbuttoning. Throwing his shirt open with the last one, Leilani traced the scars on his shoulder and chest. Cool hands touching the old wounds. Once she'd kissed them enough for her satisfaction, she had him turn over. The shirt drifted to the floor and her caresses continued.

"These are the ones you got the medal for, aren't they." Jay nodded as he savored her tender touch. "What's it like to be a hero?" He stiffened beneath her.
"I'm not a hero. I'm not brave or courageous or any of the other words." He sighed, unable to use a harsh tone with her. "When it went down, I got out of there as fast as my legs would carry me. That's why all the injuries were to my back."
Leilani laid her cheek on him, stroking his skin softly, soothingly."
"I've read the citation Jay. Marie gave me all the reports and the eyewitness statements. You went back to rescue others 3 times. You were wounded seriously, but you kept going back. How did you do that? How could you do it?"
"Why do you want to know?" He turned under her noted the tears in the corners of her eyes. "Why are you..."
Her hand scrubbed them away.
"I don't like thinking of you being hurt. Even though I was the last one to hurt you."
"I'm pretty sure it was the guy who shot me."
The little quip failed to lift the suddenly somber mood. She slapped at him, then kissed where she'd struck him.
"You took a bullet for me. If I hadn't been there..."
"I was doing my job. I get paid handsomely for it. About twenty times what I got paid in the Legion. The money soothes all the hurt."
Her head came to rest on his chest.
"Liar. Don't forget I'm rich." Now her fingers were drawing on his stomach. "Please tell me. Why do you do it? Where does the courage come from?" Her hand covered his mouth. "I think you're brave and I'm always right."
"Why do you want to know?" Jay kissed the top of her head, inhaling her like an expensive fragrance.
"The reason I couldn't come to dinner before was because I was with daddy. We really spoke to each other, for the first time since mummy and Chani died." Her sharp intake of breath made him jerk as he strove to comfort her. "It's okay. It still hurts, but that's the first time I've been able to say anything about it. I'm fine. Where was I? Oh, anyway we talked for hours and hours. I didn't understand how much I'd hurt him. He didn't say anything, but I knew I had with the way I behaved. He was worried about me. After all that happened he was worried about me. There are things I'll have to do if I'm going to share the load with daddy. Things I don't think I can do. Things which terrify me. I'd like to know how I can do that. Do you understand now?"
"Yes. I'm sorry. I could say it was all training, honor and duty. In a way it was. Deep down though? I owed it to them. They'd have done the same for me. I was honor bound to do my duty I suppose."
Leilani propped herself up so se could look at him.
"I watched you, you know. I don't think I hated you, I hated myself and you were just a convenient target. I see you with Tianni. When you're with her your kind, patient and caring. Then I saw you kill those men. You just did it, without even thinking. How is that possible? To go from a killer to a carer?"
Jay wasn't about to be offended by the truth she spoke. He didn't think of himself as a killer, but he'd killed.
"It's like a costume I put on. I wasn't really suited to the Legion, so I made up a person who was. Then when I needed him I sort of became him. Like Superman and Clarke Kent. Is this any help?"
Her kiss confirmed it was.
"Yes. I might have to think about it for a while. Now all I need is the courage to talk to my niece. Try to salvage something of what we once had."
"All you have to do is walk up to her and talk." He suggested.
"It's not that easy. I was horrible to her. I've tried Jay. I swear I have. But every time I summon up the strength to go to her, it vanishes as soon as she looks at me. I get paralyzed, then I run away. When she tries to approach me I feel like I can't handle it. Not right then. I need to prepare. So I run away again. I think I might have burned that bridge irreparably."

It was clear she had a block in place, preventing her from reestablishing their previous connection. It had been a very strong one as far as he could tell from Tianni. Perhaps that was why, when it broke, it was so hard for either of them to make the first move. He'd had a similar conversation with the girl. She'd been bitten so many times now she'd become hesitant and nervous. Assumed that simply the sight of her brought back the traumatic memories of the assassinations. The subject was becoming too painful for them to continue. So for the rest of the evening they took comfort in each others company.

Leilani left around midnight. It took them several minutes to open the door. Neither of them wanted this to end. It had to though. Once the door was finally opened, she stepped out into the hall. Holding out her hand for a shake and thanking Mr Livingston for his time. It was serious and silly. There was no one around, but the act had to be kept up. jay watched her walking away until she went round the corner. Back in his rooms he had some thinking to do himself. Honor and duty didn't only apply to the armed forces. It was his duty to do all he could to reunite this divided family. Honor required he do this no matter what it cost him.