RE: The Symbiotic Protocol - Chapter 15 (1 of 2) (My Original Novel)
You always have at least one line that describes what the readers feel while reading the chapter, I was just surprised that the first one here came in the very first line! Is that an intentional meta-reference or something? Because, if it is, you really are a genius, my brother! In any case, you never cease to impress me.
I like how the whole encounter was packed with so much emotion, not just among the characters, but also with the emotions you elicit with your writing. You injected humor in the right moments, and you surprise me with offhanded lines many times. This is such a tense, yet whimsical, chapter. It's a strange mix, but that's what great stories tend to do.
Here I am gushing at the intricacies of your writing style, while this chapter was the encounter that we've all been waiting for. Well, maybe the second-most anticipated. I like how you explored Drucker's insecurities and contrasted it against Rik, who had such a flamboyant start, but had such a mercurial turn of events. These two are such great foils for each other, and the dynamic, I believe, has even more potential to reach!
And, who is Colonel Frank Pactor?? It's such an understated start, but you really stressed how intimidating he is in so few words. One of the best intros I have read in a while. I'm reserving my judgement for the eventual intro of the cliffhanger in the other (synthetic) side of the equation.
Great job, brother, you're in such a roll! :D
My brother, @jedau! Man, my day is now complete!
I'm so elated at your comments and haven't felt this way in a long time. The start of a new chapter I find is where I struggle the most. My intention of getting into Drucker's mind to then flow into the storyline narrative was picked up by you perfectly! What a joy you are to hear from, man. I can't tell you!
The stand off between Rik and Drucker was something I really put a lot of thought into. Instead of a good old fashioned slugfest between the two, I had to give it to Drucker. Experience over naviety. The facade of superiority coming from Rik had to be exposed and this chapter got to prove that Drucker does know exactly what he is doing, despite the ongoing battle with his inner demons.
Just as the cards started to crumble for Rik, this new guy arrives on the scene. I mustn't give away too much about Pactor but he will be pivotal to an upcoming part of the book. I can't wait to start writing him in from now on!
Man, I can't believe where I'm at in Steemit and the awesomeness of the people I know there. This place would never be the same without your inspiring and detailed comments. It's just astounding and I am literally indebted to you, brother.
Maximum respect and gratitude for your time and effort with my feedback. Speechless every time....