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RE: The Allies of Old; Book Two Renewal: Chapter Fifty Two "Fear and Loathing"
Viva Las Vegas! Haha I see what you did there with the title. This chapter does set the scene well, though I think it should've been written along with plot-forwarding events. It's cool though, that's just my take on it. I'm coming from a place that's seeing introspection stretch on a bit longer than expected. I fully trust your process with this. Since this is already chapter 52, then it's safe to say this is much more longer than Reborn, right?
Now that I think about it, bringing her to Las Vegas might not be the best thing, considering the shitstorm they might get into when she goes in heat. It's great as a plot device, but it's a pretty iffy decision on their part. Makes me think if they really thought things through haha
Actually it's about the same length, but there are definitely more chapters. When I'm finished putting it through I am going to try out some rearranging based on your feelings about it. The only reason I did it this way in the first place is when I tried going back and forth initially, it felt like too much jumping around. But I'll see what I can do.
And these three- well remember that they were put in hyberstasis as children and on their own. They grew up in a world without any unturned females, so they don't really know what happens during heat. They're pretty clueless about the vampire world actually, they've been on their own- hence they drink from humans even though they don't hurt anyone etc.