Sir, this poem is beautiful and sublime!

And we shall shape mass into the things we sought
In those cold foreign lands

I feel a meter and subtle rhyme, scattered here and there - just enough to come across as though the words were fated to fall there, not forced - it achieves significantly the effect that Yeats' poetry manages.

I try to write also, but it is very hard to fashion lines like these. I am so glad I followed your upvote on my recent post just to take look, or I would never have seen this.