The Buddha Habit (tm) - Forgiveness
Image: iStock
Being raised Christian, forgiveness was a moral virtue you were supposed to espouse. "Love thy enemies" was another. Not until after awakening do you really realize the role Ego plays in these situations. How are you supposed to love your enemies whey they are trying to hurt you? How do you forgive someone of something you might deem unforgivable? If you have a "self" that can be injured or hurt your emotions will carry you toward negative feelings of revenge or hatred, holding on to a grudge, trying to turn others away from the offenders, etc. Once that negative energy path is established it continues to grow, back and forth from one person to another. We get completely wrapped up in our mental thoughts, started by the actions of another. However, if you realize the other person is completely asleep, unconsciously acting on their own emotions or desires. You view them in a different light. They are basically sleepwalking through their lives. How do you get angry at someone who is not aware of what they are doing? Christ's statement on the cross of "Forgive them for they know not what they do" is a perfect analogy. The majority of humanity is completely wrapped up in their own Egos and helplessly victimized by their emotions and desires. The "reality" of their lives is a constant ebb and flow of emotions from one polar opposite to another in varying degrees. Once you learn to separate yourself from the Egoic self you no longer succumb to the actions of another. Instead you view them with understanding and don't react emotionally to their actions.
Image: Pixabay
Of course, this is difficult to do depending on the situation. Life always challenges us. On any given day, there are multiple instances where we are tested. Say you are at the grocery store patiently waiting in line, along with many others and the person at the front of the line is taking their sweet time, fully aware that there are many others waiting. They don't care, the world revolves around them. They are completely selfish. In fact they may even prolong the situation as they may feel the power and attention and are endulging themselves in it. You start to focus on your own impatience and start brewing about it internally, thinking about how rude and inconsiderate this person is. You try to think of something else but cannot. You fantasize a story in your head about that person, or maybe you do say something. The encounter erupts into an altercation. You have succumbed to the other person's unconsciousness and have perpetuated it, polluted yourself and everyone around you with additional negative energy. No, it's not right what they are doing, but it is as it is. They are doing whatever it is they want to do. You have a choice in how you can deal with it. Instead of reacting to their selfishness, intensely focus on something else. Start staring at the magazine rack in front of you, see every detail on the page, the pictures, the colors, the lettering, the shadows underneath, the rack it's sitting on. Or you can close your eyes and imagine where your hands are in space in front of you, sensing the feeling of the "ghost" location where you know they are physically although you cannot see them. Both of these techniques break the cycle of thinking and negativity of space the other person has created. Then, when more calm you can view the other person with empathy in their unconsciousness. I feel sorry for them, not in a pitying and condescending way, but knowing that they are torturing themselves with these emotionally empty actions. They must lead lives filled with turmoil based on how they behave and treat other people. You feel like you want to help them. If you can, then do. But more often than not, they cannot be reached. They will help themselves when they are ready to become aware. Everyone is on their own path. It is in your understanding of them, that you create a better world around you and become a solution to the problems of the World, not part of the problems that are perpetuated.
As Jesus said, "Judge not". As soon as I catch myself judging another on say the way they look, the clothes they wear, the way they are acting, or the things they are saying I say to myself, "Oh, you're judging others again". I break the cycle of thinking by becoming Mindless and envision them as an extended part of me. This makes me empathetic of them.
"Do unto others as you would do unto yourself" is another perfect example of that frame of mind. If you viewed everyone around you as part of yourself you would not mistreat them. You would need no morality to dictate how you should treat others. You would see them as extensions of yourself and treat them in kind.
Image: Unsplash