Beaver....It's Not What You Think

I had been a foster parent for 6 years to a young man with Prader-Willi Syndrome. It took him longer to do the things most kids do. He never did crawl but would roll instead. At first, he could just roll one way, get stuck up on a wall and cry until he was turned around to roll across the room.

I tell people that he didn't start talking until he was 4.5 years old, but he hasn't stopped since.

At 4.5 years old the boy was hard to understand but by 5 he was doing some better and it was time to start pre-school.

He would pick up bad words from time to time and if he got a reaction from saying the word, he would say it louder and in public the next chance he had.

You have heard, what I am about to say, from embarrassed parents before, but he did not pick the word up from me.
I have never heard my wife use it either.

Occasionally, I have heard her say "SHIT" if the refrigerator exploded or if she crashed on a bicycle or stubbed a toe. I have never heard her say "DAMN IT" and don't remember saying it myself.

Wherever my,(foster son at the time), heard the phrase the I do not know. What I do know is that it was obvious that he would be kicked out of pre-school fast if he chose to shout it all day.

I had to think fast! The first and second time he said: "DAMN IT!" My wife and I did a good job of putting it on extinction (just ignoring it as if it were nothing).

By the third time, he said it I had developed a plan. I said, "I better not ever hear you say Dennis again! We don't say words like Dennis in this house!".

My wife jumped in there and assisted "You better not say Dennis when you go to pre-school. That would not be good at all".

The time came to start Pre-school. Everything was in order. We nervously let him out of our sight for the first time in 5 years (except when he slept) and watched him walk into the classroom.

Later that day I returned to pick him up.

"How did it go today?" I asked the main teacher in the classroom.
"Very good!" she stated "Except....he was calling out for Dennis all day. Is Dennis a friend of his?"

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My boy continued going to school and would report on the things he found fascinating during the day.

He has Autism as well as Prader-Willi Syndrome. He has always been quite social. At that time was more concerned with "what color is your lawn mower and is it a riding kind or a pushing kind?" AND "what kind of keys do you have in your pocket?"

He received both speech and occupational therapy at school.

One day he came home and said: "My Teacher Miss Mandy showed me her BEAVER today". Miss Mandy was his occupational therapist at the time.

You can about guess how my wife and I reacted. We said, "she showed you her what".
He was adamant "Miss Mandy showed me her BEAVER" as he pointed to his groin.

We tried to not make a big deal out about it to him until we found out what actually happened.

Parents of young ones are very protective. I think parents of children with special needs children, especially medically fragile children take being protective to a whole new level.

Later that evening when no young ears were around, I said to my wife "What kind of school is that? What are they doing over there? I am gonna have to have a talk with Miss Mandy first thing in the morning and get this straightened out!"

The next morning wasn't a fun one for me. I was assigned the task of dropping him off at class and having a talk with Miss Mandy.

My son went into the classroom. I said "Miss Mandy, may I talk with you outside for a minute".
She smiled and said "Sure".

There in the hallway, I looked Miss Mandy in the eyes and, with a little stammering said "Our boy says, you showed him your BEAVER yesterday at school "

She laughed a little.....my mind raced "where is this going I thought?"

"Oh yes", she said, "I showed him my BEEPER yesterday during his therapy". As he said it she pointed to the battery operated beeper she wore on her belt somewhat near the front of her pants.

I blushed and "thank you for letting me know". Then I left.

I was embarrassed because I thought it was something else she was showing and I was relieved that it wasn't

Later in life, we would learn to interpret some of the quirky things he said.

Hannitizer was hand sanitizer.

Harrask was someone asking harassing questions.

One time he said that my daughter's Rabbit was a veteran but our dog wasn't. I said, "the rabbit is not a veteran" while I imagined a rabbit in combat gear holding a machinegun. My son said, "Yes dad he ISa veteran the rabbit only eats Vegetables but our dog eats meat".

There were lots of funny ones he would come up with but this one was most memorable. He thought beaver was the correct way of saying beeper. Had Miss Mandy said "pager" no telling what my now son would have called it.

He is almost 20 now, will be in October. He wears the same size of clothes that I do.

The other day I loaned him a shirt. We were out eating lunch and my son spilled some sauce down the front of the shirt.

Instead of wiping it up he took his spoon, scooped the sauce with it and ate it directly of the shirt.

I stepped in as dad and said "Don't do that. Don't eat off your shirt!".

"My son looked at me and calmly said, "IT's NOT my shirt".

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