Marriage – a perspective from the Bible

The symbolism of marriage continues throughout the scriptures.

Marriage is not only between man and woman but between Christ and his church.

What is the purpose of marriage?

For this we must go back to the earliest recorded scripture, the book of Genesis.
For scholars of the Bible there is a great deal of debate and speculation due to the scarcity of information and lack of detail. We will first look at Genesis chapter 1, verses 26 to 28.

26 ¶ And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

So from this passage we can learn many things, Man is created in a male and a female form. These forms are in the image of God. Can we deduce that there are male and female forms of God? Think about it, possibilities seem to exist.
The next crucial thing to consider is that when God speaks, he uses the plural form “us” and the singular form “he” and “his”.
Further when we look at this passage, we see that God has created more than one because he blesses “them” and gives “them” several instructions; (1) multiply and replenish the earth (2) subdue it and (3) have dominion over the animal kingdom.
Then we move to the second chapter of Genesis. I am only going to look at specific verses here, I am not going to quote the entire section but please feel free to see that I have not taken any verses out of context. I am quoting verse 7, then 18, and then verses 21 to 24.

7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
18 ¶ And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

From these verses can be seen the creation of Adam, then Eve. Obviously these chapters are not a scientific exposition because chapter 1 seems to state the creation of both Adam and Eve before chapter 2 where greater detail is given. Verse 18 is of particular interest because God indicates that man ought not to be in a single state but a state of marriage. One can speculate about this comment, as reasons are not given here by God. The comment of Adam is remarkable and seems to indicate a level of knowledge that he must have been taught by God. Refer to verse 24 where it speaks about what will happen to his posterity in the future. There is further significance in the statement where it shows that the union of the man and the woman, in many aspects, such as physical, spiritual, mental, emotional and social, are beneficial for their development. Could it be that the comment of Adam is linked to God’s statement about why man should be married?

It is also very important to understand the term “help meet” where it speaks about the woman. The Hebrew roots show that it does not mean subservient to man as a helper, rather the word has roots that tie into “saviour” and “mirror”, one to stand opposite to the man. Maybe a better wording could be opposite with the man? The nature of the man and the nature of the woman are complementary and add up to a whole unit, a complete unit.

The purpose of this unit? To fulfil the first mandate given, to multiply and replenish the earth with their posterity.
I feel strongly about the interpretation of helpmeet for women. Through the ages of time, men have interpreted “help meet” as meaning helper. They have abused this mis-understanding and treated women like second class partners and even like mere possessions in the most appalling manner. This still happens today, I have seen examples in the media, where it has been reported that in some communities, a man and a woman have been caught committing adultery. The woman, not the man, is then killed by stoning or some other barbaric act and the man in not punished in a similar manner.

Anyway, let us leave this aspect and turn to the next point of focus.

Christ as the Bridegroom and his church as the Bride.
The Saviour uses this symbolism intentionally. There are many passages throughout the Old Testament.

When I look at the recorded mortal life of Jesus, I see a Man who is a champion of women, particularly in his society where scriptures were perverted to dominate women and even oppress them. He never excused sin but showed mercy and kindness.

The above elements relating to marriage that are mentioned in Genesis also apply.
Marriage is a contract entered into between the two parties.
Requirements for the bride relate to purity or chastity.

Probably the most quoted section in the New Testament that relate to marriage are the words of Paul. Refer to Ephesians chapter 5, verses 22 to the end of the chapter.

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Now I know that men regard the above passage as evidence of the place of the man at the head of the home. They are correct in terms of organisation but they stop right here and do not really consider clearly defining the role that Christ took in relation to his disciples, and hence to his bride. Just as the fruit of marriage is children, the fruit of the marriage of Christ and his church will be converted followers, achieved through personal, individual conversion and the addition of followers by missionary work.

A remarkable passage of scripture is found in John chapter 13, a selection of verses from verse 4 to verse 17, where the Saviour washes the feet of his disciples. He acknowledges that he is their master but shows that a leader must be a servant to those he leads. See verses 13 to 17 in this regard. There are many other elements implied here but it is sufficient for my purpose to show that both partners in a marriage ought to serve each other.
4 He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself.
5 After that he poureth water into a basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded.
6 Then cometh he to Simon Peter: and Peter saith unto him, Lord, dost thou wash my feet?
7 Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.
8 Peter saith unto him, Thou shalt never wash my feet. Jesus answered him, If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me.
9 Simon Peter saith unto him, Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head.
10 Jesus saith to him, He that is washed needeth not save to wash his feet, but is clean every whit: and ye are clean, but not all.
11 For he knew who should betray him; therefore said he, Ye are not all clean.
12 So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you?
13 Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am.
14 If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet.
15 For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.
16 Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him.
17 If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.

In our society today there is great turbulence in defining the role of men and women, even controversy in such a “narrow” definition of marriage and its purpose in society.

Yet personally I have found great fulfilment in marriage, my wife Michele is certainly not subservient to me, we are partners and friends. Our relationship is lasting. We both have weaknesses that we work through together. Yet it is a dynamic environment of growth. Children certainly add to that, frustrating and heart breaking at times yet marvelous and something I would never swap for any amount of money.

I am fortunate to have a good memory. I remember what it was like before I got married. My life was quite orderly yet sterile in terms of personal development. Eventually I married and the same thing occurred, orderly life with Michele. When kids were added to the equation, an orderly lifestyle has gone out of the window for us but become so much richer.

I am aware that each person has different circumstances and choices, but these are mine and I am comfortable with them. What about you? Is marriage a part of your lifestyle choice, or do you follow another path?