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RE: Learning to allow and enjoy sexual touch
I am so sorry that you were abused and that your ex laughed at you. That is completely not okay. Not at all. I do not understand why medical professionals also feel it is okay to erase someone's experience. Gaslighting has no place in therapy unless it is being undone.
I believe you. Let's start there. I hope you find a partner who is patient and compassionate. You deserve love, compassion and understanding.