RE: Psychology Addict # 47 | Putting Ourselves in Other’s Shoes
Oh! Hello! Hello Abi! I've been waiting for your Friday's post 😊
I didn't know that empathy is divided in two, I admit it is something that troubles me because sometimes although I do understand how stressful and painful a situation may be for someone, I seem to be too "absorbed" in my worries and tasks (often making me wonder whether I am actually a cruel person or not), other times I just get to feel so sad about another person's mishap, that I get my whole day ruined (go figure what is going on in that mind of mine).
Empathy is a useful tool, but it needs a
balance. I have cried in a funeral because I saw my mum saying goodbye to a cousin the same age as hers, because I knew she had to let go of a person she spent dear childhood and adolescent years with. I was sad about the situation, I was sad when we learnt about my uncle's sickness, I felt sorry for my aunt and cousins (his family), but it was that picture that cracked me - I guess this is a combination of cognitive and emotional empathy.
Anyway, the statement in the closure, I believe is referring mostly to emotional empathy. When someone becomes overly sensitive and manages to "feel" what another person feels as if they experience the situation themselves. This may happen when you get too immersed in the other person's feelings that they become yours.
You need to keep a safety distance and keep in touch with your reality, although sympathising and treating others in a way fitting to what they are going through (I have in mind my divorced-parents cousins for example, when discussion comes to family, I try not to forget that not all families are the "typical mum-dad-kids all in the same house" model; mostly because I do not want to add to their distress -the divorce is almost 3 years now and the girls are 10 and 11).
I enjoyed your post, Abi!
I hope you're all ok after the incident, safe and sound!
Lots of love! ♥️
(Question: why when I think of empathy, I picture bad situations? Empathy is not compassion to your pain or frustration, but your joy as well)
Hello smart-girl ❤ :)
I am very pleased to hear this post has brought you some new information. The two aspects of empathy discussed here offer some insight into how you feel towards others in certain occasions and not in others. It is very important to keep in mind that broader contextual processes influence our every day thoughts, behavior and feelings! Meaning that some of them might elicit more emotional responses while others bring about cognitive reactions instead. After all, we do not exist in a vacuum!
You illustrated truly well how one draws from both aspects of empathy when you talked about how you felt upon learning about your uncle sickness. I am sorry that your family had to go through all that. You see, one of the reasons I feel for you and your family is because I share with you all a similar experience (that of my father). An instance of wider context.
Thank you for analyzing the quote I finalized this post with. I hope things are settling down now for your parents' cousins and for the girls.
It was a peculiar Sunday; but I know you will be happy to hear that the fire claimed no lives. Everything is fine over here now :)
Thank you for taking some of your busy time to participate in this discussion. It means a lot to me 😘
Lots and lots of love!
Ow ... before I forget. Good question. From a social psychology perspective the explanation I have for your interesting query is that, as a general rule, empathy is discussed as a reason for prosocial behaviour, which in turn is often associated with negative events. But you are right! Feeling happy for another person's accomplishments is a manifestation of empathy too :)
δε κανω ξεχωριστο σχολιο γιατι τζαμπα θα γεμισω τον τοιχο της abi .... πολυ ωραιο το αρθρο,νομιζω ειναι περιττο να το πω, οπως επισης Ruthie δε χρειαζεται να απορεις για το χαοτικο μυαλο σου... :) ...μια ερωτηση να κανω.... empathy μεταφραζεται σαν να λεμε συμπασχω με κατι σωστα???....γιατι η 'εμπαθεια' στην Ελληνικη εχει αρνητικο νοημα σαν λεξη.....ειχα ξανακουσει τη λεξη empathy σε συζητησεις και ειχα την εντυπωση οτι μιλανε για κατι αρνητικο φανερα επηρεασμενος απο το νοημα της λεξης στη γλωσσα μας...
Εmpathy ειναι αυτο που περιγραφεις, αλλα δεν το ρωτησα μονο γιατι η λεξη εμπαθεια στα ελληνικα σημαινει κατι αρνητικο και μου εχει μεινει καταλοιπο. Γενικα, το empathy, το συνδεω με τη συμπονοια και το ενδιαφερον που δειχνει καποιος οταν τυχαινουν δεινα στον διπλανο του, ενω κανονικα ισχυει για ολα τα συναισθηματα, να μπορεις να "νιωθεις" τη χαρα του αλλου, την αγωνια, το αγχος, την ανυπομονησια, οχι παραιτητα να συμπασχεις με τον πονο του...
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