Okay, it seems you both have a serious misconception as to what rape culture actually is. Allow me to womansplain.
This person claims that her fear of being raped in a dark theater is a symptom of rape culture. It is not. It WOULD be if there was normalization of movie theater rape. For example, if people say "Well, no wonder she got groped - sitting all alone in a movie theater unaware of her surroundings! Good on the guy who got a feel!" - THAT is rape culture. A culture that blames the victim and normalizes men taking advantage of women because it's "how things are" and "girls should be careful".
Now, where is this paranoid lady coming from? Simple. If she gets mugged (not raped, mugged) on her way in a dark parking lot - some might say it's her fault for not parking closer and for not taking precautions as a woman is usually an easier victim for a mugging. Besides, women are "known to exaggerate". If YOU get mugged, there's a better chance people will admit there's a crime problem in that area. That's skewed gender perception and that exists everywhere - US included. Not rape culture - just good old subconscious gender bias we all have.
If you combine that fear of rape culture encouraging men to take advantage and normalizing it with the skewed gender perception when it comes to men and women as victims of a crime? You get posts like that lady wrote. That make me, as a rape survivor, very sad.
Edit: comment self upvoted for visibility.
Negative experiences shape you in a powerful way.
How you deal with these events is a very personal journey, for sure.
Projecting these events to fit a world view is not constructive on a personal level to healing.
I was raped by (ex) husband beyond count. A long time ago. In the past.
I don't see the world as one of 'rape culture'. I see it as my circumstances created what happened ( not my fault).
I got past the anger (shame, a little, not much) of what was done to me, but refused to see the world in terms of what my husband decided I should see them.
Men are all powerful, in charge. They make the decisions.
Fuck that! lol
Don't let the predators win by allowing them to decide for you, how you see the world.
Preach, girl! <3
I am with you on refusing to see the world how others decide you should. However, while you and I found our path to healing, many do not. And that's how posts like the OP happen.
I wrote a post concerning this, in a way...
https://steemit.com/blog/@lucyreloaded/in-praise-of-difference
How is someone who has never raped, or thought about raping anyone, suppose to take the idea of rape culture into cognition without changing how they react to the world? If I see a world where raping, groping and other unwanted advances represent criminal sexual behavior, Why would I need to change my opinion that I see no rape culture? I know it may be hard to believe, but the type of people that rape other people generally don't give a fuck about social movements and won't be swayed by telling them we live in a "rape culture". I guess all I want to know is how we can have the same idea of fucked it is for someone to live in fear having their body be taken captive and abused but we can't agree that we live in a rape culture.
So what you're saying TJ, is that YOU LOVE RAPE! You're garbage TJ!
Extreme paranoia is a debilitating mental illness. It far better explains that persons writings. Indoctrination into cult like belief systems can also paint a tribalistic picture as well. Extreme paranoia, plus tribalism equals patriarchy.
That is the real issue with all of this.
No, it's usually a symptom of one.
But what about when the paranoia isn't extreme? Or, when you decide if it's extreme or legitimate? Is it paranoid of me to always keep my eye on my drink at a bar to ensure no one slips me anything? Or is that healthy paranoia, based on unpleasant experiences?
Patriarchy has nothing to do with this. Not sure about tribalism, or what cult you're talking about.
If you are afraid every second of your life that you are in constant danger. You are suffering from extreme paranoia. If you cant park your car or go to a movie without thinking your life is in danger. That is extremely debilitating.
That letter explains a horrific alternate reality where she can be basically skinned alive at a moments notice. She is trapped in a kind of hell. She is sick.
That's just common sense. I do the same as a guy. People are assholes. Don't trust strangers either.
This entire argument is contingent on feminist dogma. Patriarchy is the reason rape culture exists.
No shit. Ever heard of post trauma? Ever seen a soldier have a panic attack at the drawing of a gun? If you are afraid every second of your life, odds are you suffer from some form of post trauma and need help. You are not sick, you are ill. Your brain is physically damaged by psychological trauma. There are actual changes in white matter mass as a result of extreme emotional trauma. Basically, my rapist gave me brain damage, the asshole.
I am not very versed in said feminist dogma. Which is why I explain my use of words and phrases. To ensure they are not misinterpreted due to some preconception. I have my own dogma. :)
That's a whole other argument I am too tired to have. Patriarchy is a social order system in which males have higher social status than females. Does this perpetuate the normalization of sexual aggressiveness toward non-makes (females / women / genderqueer people)? Perhaps, but it is not the only thing, IMHO.
Its a pretty debilitating sickness. sorry
That doesn't mean your paranoia is justified. It means you are suffering from trauma.
Which in turn makes it possible for men to perpetuate rape culture without consequences. It really is the cornerstone of the entire belief structure. Feminism is quite literally the fight against patriarchy. Well it is now.
It used to be about equality, now its just a supremacist hate group no different from any other group. The strategy that most supremacist hate groups is to paint a picture that "All of us are traumatized victims like soldiers in combat!" to thus claim that violence is justified against your attackers. Its how the neo Nazi's and feminists / ANTIFA function on a basic level.
Once you can prove you are traumatized enough then violence is nothing more than an act of self defense. Its political posturing.
It doesn't matter if it's justified. Brain doesn't work like that. I was raped at gunpoint at age 15. I still need to keep my shit together by force when someone with a handgun passes me on the street. It's irrational, but my brain does a thing. I am lucky to have developed an irrational fear of handguns. Other women are not as fortunate and develop a fear of men following similar trauma.
Not a group. An ideology. That, like many good ideologies, has been twisted by radicals and shouted loudly enough to create the illusion all feminists are man-hating cunts. We're not. Do not confuse sexism with feminism.
That shouldn't be. Nothing justifies violence. And there's no "traumatized enough". There's no trauma badge that gives me perks as a rape survivor and there's no competition here. There's no proof of trauma blockchain token.
I agree with you on each point outside of one thing. The girl who wrote that note did it with a vindictive tone. There is a point when its too far in the direction of lumping all people with a similar attribute together only to say "they are all the same, and they are evil" That's when it goes from saying "this is how I feel and I understand its irrational" to "Be warned my comrades in arms"
At that point its just something a guy like TJ can make fun of, and he did.
Someone who understands that it is trauma is on a completely different tier in this case. You are not even close to the person TJ made fun of.
That's a matter of perspective. We don't know her. We don't know what she's been through. All we know is that she either lives in hell, constant afraid for her life, or she feels the need to spew random radfem ideals to feel belonging to a group. Vindictive? I didn't get that from her text.
Remember that the next time you lump all feminists into a "supremacist hate group". :)
I don't know if I'd make fun of her. But that's because I am, in a way, "closer" to her than I am to TJ. From my perspective, she is suffering and miserable and needs help and support. Making fun of her feels a little like making fun on a person in a wheelchair standing in the middle of a square screaming "I can't walk!!!!". And it doesn't matter if she put herself in it. She's ill and living in hell and my heart goes out to her. No one deserves to live like that. No one.