Humility's Victory - An Alliterative Poem
Across a valley in August weather,
Goliath of Gath goads Saul's men,
calls down curses, cowards makes
of the people of promise, proud in his strength.
A son of Jesse, a shepherd boy,
hears this warrior's haughty words,
wonders why the wicked taunts
provoke no response, and puts himself forward.
Rejecting armaments, relying on God,
David strides forth, down into the vale.
The fate of his kin in his faith rests,
and the giant jeers and mocks.
"This day, by my hand, dead you will lie,
for the God of my fathers lives.
In arrogance, testing the Almighty King,
you have come to your last hour."
So saying, David, a smooth stone taking,
a song on his lips, his swing twirling,
lets fly the judgement, looses the wrath
of the holy Lord of the heavens.
Thanks to the Isle of Write for the great atmosphere to discuss and critique works.
Recent works:
The Valley of Kings
And They Dance
Ozymandius
art courtesy of @PegasusPhysics
This post has been selected for curation by @msp-curation by @sunravelme. It has been upvoted and will be featured in this week's Curation for Creatives post. It will also be considered for the official @minnowsupport curation post and if selected will be resteemed from the main account. Feel free to join us on Discord!
This is such a great tribute and narrative, and rings so well in the active, @whoshim!
Even a story I've heard so many times before, it reads so fresh here and gives new life to a classic.
I'm a big fan of the ending, it feels so climactic and perfectly framed. Everything builds the platform for the moment of truth and then !!
thank you so much for the share, happy to have been even a little bit of help to this cool piece.
Thanks so much for your kind words! I really like how it reads now in the present active also. Your suggestions really helped smooth out some of the clunky bits. I had tried so hard to make this good before submitting it to the Isle of Write, but there were still a lot of problems. :)
minor problems that were quick fixes; you crushed it, mate!
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