Temptation - An Original Poem

in #poetry7 years ago (edited)


My devotions slow suicide
is a victim to your smile
lust a razor in my heart
deep, sharp, and always
I long to touch you, hold you
flesh to flesh
breath to breath
forbidden rapture in my mind
You are poison to my love
and I consume you freely
as you consume me wholly
my commitment overlooked
forgotten in the shadow of desire
I want you
I crave you
There is nothing but my hunger
I rush unrepentant to the moment
and we become one in passion
as my life slowly slips away
swallowed by grievous consequence.




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good effort

Reading your 'love-poem' before this 'lust-poem', one can see the huge contrasts in approach and message (let alone the end resulting fate!), but also see your technical skill with expressing disparate ideas.

The turning lines:

I want you
I crave you
There is nothing but my hunger

do the best for showcasing the true hollowness of the narrator and the inevitability of the fate that finds them.

A contrasting read to the earlier piece of yours, @japhofin8or, and both equally as enjoyable, if for different reasons.

Your writing is very expressive, honored to have been fortunate enough to come upon it through @girlbeforemirror's pieces and words of praise! Enjoy following both of your poetry.

Thank you so muuch for sharing, good sir.

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