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RE: Is there room for blame in an empowered mindset?
Hmm...I am looking forward to the long version of your response...the short version has me thinking that blame must not be helping your condition if you're still experiencing it. So, from a productive perspective: get it treated if it bothers you; avoid fluoride compounds going forward (for reasons beyond the health and appearance of your teeth); and take responsibility for your dental health going forward by doing your own research.
Are you familiar with fluorosis? It occurs while teeth are forming, after that, nothing can be done. My teeth were fucked beyond repair before I even knew what fluoride was. There is no treatment. The only way to get rid of it is to get crowns and that is pretty damn expensive and inconvenient. My dental health otherwise is as good as it can be for someone who has never been to a dentist.