Personally I believe the Ego is simply that which we do not agree with or like about ourselves and that we (seemingly) have little or no control over. If there is an action you do, or words you say to someone that you feel you don't like or don't agree with or have little control over I call this the Ego. Sometimes you will say something or do something and later regret it but when you regret it you cannot explain why you said/did it and why you felt you had little control over it. In my opinion, that is the Ego. The other part of us that we could have control over if only we choose to work hard in refining our spirit. It is the other part of you that might say harmful things, act, or behave in ways that may be counter productive and cause discomfort to others but you seem to have little control over. Even in thought, sometimes you might think wrongly of someone or judge them and this may be the root of the untamed Ego. The actions that are made by your ego reflect how you think, if you change the way you think you will likely have success in refining yourself. My best advice from my own experience is to simply not judge others in your mind even the good judgments. You don't have to stop judging completely but if you try this for at least 4 months I assure you, you will realize many things.
The English language is very judgmental in nature and it is also very authoritarian. If we think in the English language we will often find ourselves labeling others: This person is "" , that person is "" but labeling people often implies that they are not subject to change even though everything is in fact subject to change. By judging what a person "is" we forget that everything is temporal and that we have the power to change things. In your case you think to yourself "this person is better." Today a person may be "better" tomorrow it may be another person or you or anyone. Remember that everything is temporal and what matters most is your action and the footprint you leave for this world. The only way "being better" is spiritually a good thing, is if by being better you will have more to offer and more to contribute to the rest of society and that your knowledge is passed down, otherwise what is the point? If one is greedy, then they will try to hold that knowledge and take it with them to their tomb without ever sharing it and so how greedy one is, is an ultimate manifestation of how spiritually refined we are or how egotistical we are. If you are better at saving lives, people will likely seek you before seeking others. If one embraces the responsibility that comes with "being better" then it serve the spirit. If one is greedy and wishes only to remain better for the sake of pride, or as we can observe our current global situation for the sake of keeping the higher position to make more money, then one is serving the ego. Ultimately being better at something that has practical use is a good thing but should come with greater responsibility. Embracing greater responsibility is good for the spirit and can lead to defeating the ego. So it all boils down to embracing responsibility, sharing, and contributing (selfless / spirit) vs hoarding knowledge, being greedy, and being irresponsible (selfish / ego). This is at least this is my own point of view