It's Okay to Disagree

I once had a friend stop being my friend over what I view as a very minor disagreement. I mentioned that I kept a shotgun under my bed (my neighborhood isn't super safe so that is, in my mind, a prudent precaution to take) and he, being fully on board with the anti-gun crowd's view of the subject, proceeded to chastise me for "contributing to the gun problem," ceased taking my calls, and no longer stood around to smoke with me after the class of which we were both a part. He and I agreed on a great number of other issues but that did not seem to matter. For some people agreement is an all or nothing affair and I find that to be both sad and a dangerous way for a society to operate. When we only associate with people like ourselves, we are denied the enrichment and increased understanding that can be born out of coming to terms with our differences. Worse yet, we weaken our ability to stand as a united front against those who would take advantage of us. In my mind, it is okay to disagree and that disagreement needn't be a wedge that divides us. If we want to become more well rounded individuals with a better understanding of why people believe the things that they believe and if we hope to guard ourselves against those who would exploit our division, it is of the upmost importance that we learn how to disagree with people without writing them off completely. 

I see people disregarding the thoughts and concerns of others because of some trivial difference of opinion quite frequently these days and in doing so, they rob themselves of the opportunity to gain a greater knowledge of the human condition. The average person does not hold his or her opinions to spite others. He or she has some reason to believe the things that he or she believes and to the individual, that reason makes perfect sense. We may not be able to see the individual's logic and his or her opinions that are born out of it may seem silly to us. However, this is not a good cause to disregard the different thinking individual. We gain nothing by pushing people to the margins of our "in-groups." We learn nothing by doing it and the individual ends up resenting our close mindedness. It is better, I believe, to take some time to try to understand why people think the way that they do. We may still reject a person's opinions after making our effort but we will come to know the person more fully and learn how to see things through his or her personal lens. We will not push the individual away because we understand why he or she is the way that he or she is and we may come to sympathize with his or her intentions even if we don't like his or her solutions. Finally the person may appreciate our effort and choose to try to understand us in the same way.

There is danger in disregarding others over differing opinions. I once knew a guy who broke up with his girlfriend because she voted for Obama. In addition to putting a major damper on his sex life for the next few months, he was playing right into the hands of the corporate and establishment entities who benefit from socialite division. I am long past the point of thinking that one side of the political spectrum is any more virtuous than the other. If one looks at the rhetoric of the left and the right, he or she will see that they both blow a bunch of smoke and sunshine up our collective ass while turning around and serving the interests of the existing systems of power and control. They get away with that blatant abuse of the good will of the public because we are too busy arguing about one issue or another to notice what is really going on. If, on the other hand, we, at least, try to understand each other and move past the issues that we disagree on, we can more effectively resist the corporate and political machines who often work against our best interest. That does not guarantee our success, of course, but it stands to reason than we are stronger together than we are apart.

We don't have to love each other. Some religions might say that we should and maybe the world would be a better place if we did but I don't think we need such an extreme affection for one another to be able to work together or to find some common understanding. Most people aren't monsters (there are a few of the irredeemable types floating around though). Most individuals think the way that they do because they believe that it is for the best. Even if we think that someone is wrong, we can, at least, respect his or her good intentions and try to use them as a springboard to a place of greater unity.

Peace.

All the images in this post are sourced from the free image website unsplash.com.