No, I just tell them get it cleaned up or you will be getting out. They know there's a limit. If they continue to give me flack I tell them you either come together and figure it out or decide it's time you each go your own way. I don't go over there and babysit, even during the school year when it would work out better for the kids if they weren't woke up to send them home, nobody wants to sit among dinner plates on the coffee table from two days ago. It's not like I don't have a heart it's just I learned it wasn't just that she was overwhelmed from her job and taking care of two kids. Back when they lived in a small two bedroom apartment I use to drop my brother off there to babysit. I went over there after he told me how bad it was. This was in a month of January and there was still stuff in the refrigerator from Thanksgiving, it took us better then two days to clean that place up. Another problem is she is a hoarder or she can't let go of stuff. But, but, but that was his first basketball his grandpa gave him when he was two....(flat as a pancake with no hope of ever seeing air in it again otherwise it wouldn't be flat) A lot of people put something away they can't part with and want to pass on to a grandchild but it's usually more substantial then a ball, like mine was my kids first ride on pony and a small plastic piano one son loved to play. My one son still has the pony and I just threw the piano away a couple weeks ago after a couple of the keys broke on it. Those things also had a place up in the attic for years to sit and wait for grand kids, it wasn't like I had a limited space small two bedroom apartment. She also grew up in a family where things were hard to come by so that may also play a role. Needless to say though it didn't take long for the place to go back to looking the same. Them living there I was limited to what I could say to get them to motivate to clean up outside of tell them I'd call CPS if they didn't. With my brother babysitting I had access to go over there and look every couple of weeks. It just wasn't a situation where someone got a bit overwhelmed and the dishes built up or they needed help getting some wash done, it was a on going problem of just plain laziness when it came to housework. She's getting better with the hoarding habit, she's learning it's okay to let the small stuff go, two people working together can easily replace if need be. I think it was mostly the mindset of the hardship she grew up under.