There is wise compassion, that is the way of the Bodhisattva. For me most of my help causes more problems, I am not that wise. An example I clean up my grandchildren's bedrooms because they are always a mess.

What I should do is teach my grandchildren how to clean up their rooms and keep them clean. That is difficult because you have to be there with them and make sure they do their chore. Many times they get mad at me because of this....hahaha

No rewards for doing a chore, just a hug and telling them, "Well done!"