NOW = No Other When
My nervous system is, literally, hyper-vigilant.
It FREAKS OUT at surprises.
So I make it known that I really need a heads-up,
before "popping by" my place.
(This spares me an unnecessary flood of cortisol,
not to mention cardiac panic.)
But then, when I have a fixed appointment at a specified day/time...
my mind spends 10-15% of its power projecting ahead,
in a futile mix of anticipation/excitement, and dread/worry.
Appointments PULL me into the future,
HOURS BEFORE the agreed upon time!!
Which is why I resist appointments...
...because they 'steal' bits of time, with this pre-event,
future-hopping scheme I've just untangled.
Of course, I real-eyes it's my mind doing this,
and not the appointments.
Trickster, Mind... I'm on to you!! lol
And even now AWARE of this, I still have to RE-mind myself --
like a repetitive mantra -- that
it is okay for me to be fully gathered at THIS moment...
NOT the moment hours from now.
Geesh.
Being present feels so good,
a single moment out of its warm sunshine,
feels like crap.
🖤
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