Big break-ups and divorce are okay in my book, and why they should be okay in yours too.

Adam and I met, fell in love, and eloped within 4 months. The wedding came 6 months after that. It's now been almost two years. Coming from a career driven woman in her late 20's, this is just crazy! But love is blind, I've been told. It's okay.

We were hipster-looking young folk in a vest and shiny skirt. Now we're getting a divorce.

I grew up with parents who were (and still are) madly in love. I always scoffed at divorcees because - really? You couldn't make it work?

Beyond the cognitive dissonance I've been experiencing, I've been so embarrassed to get a divorce because I know there's a shitload of "I told you so"'s coming my way. I'm embarrassed I brought together my family and friends and married someone who's not right for me. I'm embarrassed that I'll have to go on the dating market as an ex-wife. I can't put "Never Married" on my Match.com profile. Damn. I want to lie, but that's what got us here. Now I've been messing up at work, being negative AF because of my situation. My friends and family and colleagues have all noticed it. I feel so damn bad. I feel like a fraud.... it's killing me (Smalls)!

See - we were happy once!

And then, shortly after this picture was taken, we were just pretending to be happy. We've been pretending ever since.

So why stay together, then? Because it's easy, as some say? Hell no. Staying with someone who makes you unhappy is hard. It's way harder than breaking up, in my book.

We often like to think of ourselves as these know-it-all beings when actually we're just humans in progress all the time, constantly learning and shaping our future through many successes and failures. We often find that love is one of those failures, but never one to be regretted. There is an endless supply of get-out-of-jail free cards for people who are blinded by the power of love. What a force to be reckoned with, love.

I am only writing this because I now realize there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to regret. Because of this divorce, I'll move forward in life knowing what love truly means to me and what I value in a mate. Through not being able to experience a deep and meaningful partnership with my husband for almost 2 years (the entire marriage), I now know how important partnership is to me and how to recognize when that need is not being fulfilled.

I feel fortunate that I was able to learn it in such a short period of time, and without having home ownership or children to separate under the guidance of a lawyer. I consider myself ridiculously lucky.

Now, understand that neither of us are awful people. I just I couldn't go on because of how often he lies. He lies all the time. About everything. But he doesn't lie because he's a bad person; he lies because he's unhappy. He told me once that he "wasn't like me" because he has "no drive to have a career." He only wants to do what he can to get by so he can do what he wants when he wants.

I thought to myself, "What a millennial!"

Oh, wait, I'm a millennial, too.

I think he lies because the truth hurts. He also lies because he just straight up doesn't like his life. That definitely means I am not the one for him – it's not just the other way around. I hope he realizes some day that I was not the right woman for him because if I was, he would be happy and fulfilling his dreams... not lying all the time. I realize now that it was a lie from the beginning; he lied about what he wanted out of life just to get me to the altar.

Of course, I'm an idiot because I married him after just knowing him for three months. There goes my credibility. When he started failing miserably at everything, I got really hard on him. I'm a "person of reason" I've been told, and when shit doesn't make sense, I can be a bitch. I nitpick and over analyze and try to solve his problems. That's not exactly what a totally lost and non-confident person like him needs to succeed.

That's why I'm writing here today. I need to proclaim it to the world: We're not bad people, we're just not right for each other. And that's okay.

There's no need to pretend anymore. I can go back to being the woman I was when we met, or possibly a much different and a more developed version of her. One can only hope that they realize their own mistakes and where they could've done something different and apply that to their future self.

We definitely all go through this at some point in our life. I haven't found out quite yet, but maybe we have to go through this the entirety of our lives. We live a lie, get caught, fuck up, have to move on. Oh, to have the strength to move on! I think we'd be more comfortable, stronger, more capable of moving on before things got real bad if we truly realized life would get better as a result.

To everyone out there who is too embarrassed or scared to dump their partner or get a divorce or leave their job or admit they're wrong, just remember - it's okay. Don't look down upon others and definitely don't hold yourself back. This is the stuff of life. If I can admit it, you can, too.