Heal First, Contributed by @Olawalium
There is no denying the fact that love is such a beautiful thing. We all want to feel the thrill and highs of it. We all want to feel the “cloud 9” moments while being with the one we love. Love with our partner completes us, in a way.
Love is sweet and it hurts too. It requires conscious efforts and it has it’s guidelines too. Another heart is involved apart from yours, so you might be a little bit more careful when dealing with your other human.
Many times, we have been hurt, and sometimes we feel the impulse in our hearts not to ever love again. But then, another person shows up and we find ourselves in love again, and for some, the cycle continues. It hurts, so much.
When you have been hurt, and it is more than your heart can take, it is better to allow yourself heal first, before involving another heart into it. While you are trying to find yourself, don’t hurt another person in turn.
Don’t become the person who hurt you.
Heal first. Yes, love heals and can mend your heart faster. It can even cure a heart made of stone. I always tell people that, the cure for a broken heart is love. With love, you see people take a more open approach and do ridiculous things they never thought they could do. Love opens you up, but it requires a process.
Many people fall right back in love again and it is not a bad thing. This post is not to point accusing fingers to those who fall in love right back after being terrible hurt. It is even to commend them for knowing the state of their heart and balancing things. We all deal with hurts and pains differently, and you need to know what works for you, based on the series of events you have been seeing in your life.
When you have been hurt, it is best you take time out to recover. Don’t rush into another. Most of the time when we have been hurt, it shatters our self-confidence, and make us think we are not good enough. Take time out first, to love yourself, before you allow another person love you. When you love yourself first, then can you be able to show your partner how you deserve to be loved, without giving any discount. You cannot give what you don’t have. When you love yourself first, then can you understand how to love another.
When you don’t allow the process to happen after a massive heartbreak, you have left yourself in a vulnerable state. A state where you can accept any kind of love, and when you do, only much later would you be able to see what a great mistake you have made. For some, it can be corrected and leaves a scar. For others, it can’t, and you end up living with it.
To be continued…
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.
This is the main reason why people go from one broken relationship to another, when the heart is not completely healed before you go into a new relationship, you begin to suspect the new partner with every wrong move. You lack the courage to trust because you don't want to experience another broken heart, and in return, you are not free to release your totality into the relationship.
You see people comparing their new partner with the old, because they are still ruled by the old memories, take time to heal yourself, allow the healing process to complete before you jump into another.
Not all would have the grace to amend imperfection when your eyes finally opened, because it would definitely open.
Learn to love and trust yourself after a broken heart that you are good enough, things don't just work out, this self confidence would help you to be able to replicate it on your partner...
Waiting for the 2nd episode anxiously.....
Perfecto! Gracias amigo!. This is on point and i totally love it. Self love is key to the healing process. Most of the heartbreaks bring about low self esteem, when they think they are not good enough, and this makes people accept just anything, or worst still, not opening up to love, because they don't feel good enough, and being at the mercy of the other partner, thinking they are doing you a favour by dating you, is the worst kind of feeling ever!.
Thank you for your time and comment. Duly appreciated.
I'm glad you love it. You can't give what you don't have. Their is no way one can love others if he can not love himself first.
No wonder the Bible says we should love our neighbors like ourselves. It must start with self love.
Self love is key.
Beautifully said. It is important to heal and forgive, even when you’re in love. Seems like if you’re willing to fall in love, being hurt will come. We must always heal!
Yes, being in love comes with being hurt. Just as life comes with both good and the bad. Ability to heal, and forgive and love again makes the whole process enjoyable. Well, at first, it won't look enjoyable, but in the hindsight, it does.
Thank you so much for your time.
Here is yet another great piece @olawalium. With the little experience I have I’ll say;
One of the laws of life is that, eventually, you’re going to take it square in the face.
No matter how you prepare yourself, no matter what you do, you’re going to get hurt. You’re going to end up with a broken heart. It may be romantic. Like your perfect lover dumping you. It doesn’t matter how it happens; all you need to know is that sometime you’re going to get hit and hard. It may only weigh a couple ounces, but it’s a two-ton weight on your heart.
But while pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Life may beat you down. You may get your heart broken. But if you know how to pull yourself back together, you can get the strength to stand right back up, broken heart and all. And be stronger than you were before.
There is one rule to healing a broken heart that’s more important than any other: GET UP!
Your heart may hurt in ways that you never knew were possible. You want nothing more than to just close yourself up in your apartment and wait until the pain goes away. But it won’t.
As unfair as it is, life is going to go on without stopping for your pain. So you have to know the state of your heart and balance things up .
Hahaha another powerful one. It keeps getting better and i totally love this. You have to know the state of your heart and balance things up. We deal with hurts differently, more reason some take longer and i totally agree with you that, getting up is the best. No matter how long we take to heal, we still need to get up and face it. Life will never give us what we feel we deserve but what we demand.
Thanks a lot for this brother.
Sure Bro.
Loved it. As always
My Sad Story
It started 5years ago after I lost my Dad and I met her, so gorgeous and unique with a smile like the rising Sun 🌞. The voice is like that of an angel and to me, she’s a comforter sent by the spirit of my late beloved Dad.
Loving her was sweet despite the distance between us as I study away from our immediate environment and out of her reach but we feel close just as a the eyes and the nose. I can proudly and sadly say, she’s the best in character, in Love, good wife to be, would be a perfect mother , a second half, a wonderful companion and I feel fulfilled even when we are not married.
To be continued in the second part ....
well thoughtful advice about love, you are definitely right when we are hurt or heartbroken in our past relationship it will make more sense for us to heal our broken heart first before venturing into another relationship. i need to learn first from our past relationship in other for us to build a better future relationship. Love is a beautiful thing when we fall in love with the right person
Always a beautiful thing, when we have the partner that gives as much as we do too. Healing is key and i agree with you that, we should pick the lessons there, so as to avoid future heartbreaks and to enable us give our best.
Thank you for your time, i always appreciate it.
Thanks much for this great piece.....
Love hurts and it heals too.
When you have been hurt, it's best to give it time.
Give yourself time to heal.
Thanks much for sharing this piece.
Cheers
Time heals all wounds, and same goes with love. Not rushing into another after a massive heartbreak is the best. The heart needs time to heal and to be ready for the next one.
Thanks a lot dear. Glad to have you here.
I'm in the point of my life where I can never let go of THAT love. It never seems to heal and I can never ever forget it. What can a person do?
It is perfectly normal for you to feel that way. Give it more time. We all heal differently and we take longer time than each other. Be open, stop holding on to the hurts. When the memories come flashing, try and block it and think of something else. Look for the positive in it. It helps. I have been there too.
I hope that helps. Thank you for your time.
A lovely good morning dear , i am searching for my partner but i don't know how to get a partner who has blue eyes and whitish colour.hahaha
Hahaha let the search continue...keep searching, for the sake of your heart. Haha
; ) thanks for wish
Love is just like an overdose, the more you love it keep making you weak to the extent that when one heart is broken it feel as if you can no longer get cure from it.
Very nice, but how much ever you find another love you can't forget the previous memories :( memories would always come back and hurt.
-- @its2bhan
Yes, memories will always come back, but it is your choice to determine how you accept it. Do you see those memories as hurts or as lessons? However you see it will determine how long it will take to heal your broken heart.
I hope that helps. Thanks a lot for your time.