The form of love Agape - about LOVE

(reading time 8 minutes)

The form of love Agape or Agape (ἀγάπη) - so the ancient Greeks called a soft, sacrificial love for one's neighbor.

In Christianity, it is precisely the form of Agape love that is seen as the ideal form of love, through which love for God is expressed. This form of love, ostensibly, arises not as an attraction to a person, caused by its external virtues or internal qualities, but as a manifestation of love for its very essence.

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These statements, I personally have doubts, tk. this definition not only arose within the walls of the Senate, but additionally passed through a huge number of filters, especially through the filters of religious interpretations.
However, common sense and psychology allow us to consider this form of love in detail and understand how mature it is.

So, let's get started.

What is behind the words "love is soft, sacrificial"?

• Soft, means unobtrusive, that is, a loving person does not attack the subject of love, but simply accepts him as he is and admires the very being, in other words, he admires the manifestation of his genius or his talents, without claims for his freedom and without any statements on the possession of the subject of love. At the same time, the loving person is at any time ready to support the subject of love - but only if the subject appeals to him with such a request, otherwise, if the loving person takes the initiative, he risks breaking the boundaries of the personal space of the subject of love and depriving the right of choice , and also, to deprive him of the experience that serves growth.

Excellent, and we can say that this form of expression of love is ideal for the role of a wise husband, father, creator - who creates, admires, respects neutrality and does not interfere in the personal space of the "growing flower."

However, on this the characteristic is not finished, tk. this form of love also has the quality of "sacrifice".

• Sacrifice means the willingness to sacrifice oneself, self-sacrifice for the good of someone or for the salvation of something. It is considered a high altruistic feeling.
  A typical public reaction to the act of self-sacrifice is approval, or rather, awe-inspiring admiration.
  But, there is a nuance. What the crowd admires is not really heroism, and the word "willingness" is the key word here.
  The fact is that the basis of sacrifice is the so-called. persistent tolerance and a bold look in the face of the inevitable - however, this is not heroism at all, but a complete lack of critical thinking and a dulled sense of self-preservation.
  This characteristic is based on negativity and despair. A person prone to self-sacrifice is by definition a fatalist who unconsciously and in every possible way searches for adventures on his ass.
  Such people were little loved in childhood and they often fell into dramatic situations, after which they were given increased attention, as a result of which they developed an appropriate model of behavior, which determines their fatalism and craving for drama. And the more dramatic, the better, the more attention they will get. The epic will be a heroic death, especially saving someone, even if it's just a cat.

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Now we try to connect these two concepts as qualities not of a mythical character, but as part of the character of an ordinary person, in order to understand whether it is possible in principle to achieve a state in which this form of love will become available to us or not.

A person inclined to the manifestation of Soft love, shows love the way he was taught, in this way, as he received it in childhood and in adolescence, he is definitely a person self-assured with high moral and ethical standards, he is calm and not fussy.
His main features: insight, breadth of views, depth of thought, analytical mind, critical thinking, strong will, self-control.

A man inclined to the manifestation of Sacrificial Love is a fatalist unsure of himself, he does not know how to love, and unfortunately he does not even know this, because he is absolutely sure of the opposite, and even more, he is more likely convinced that love is passion , which is expressed in cycles of change of mood of lovers, from the state of cooing doves, to total destruction of the kitchen and all utensils.
Character traits: naivety, superficiality, impulsiveness, cowardice, self-doubt, eloquence, frivolity, weak will, posturing.

Obviously, these types of characters are a mirror image of each other and can not belong to one person.

In extreme cases, with partial compatibility of the character traits of both types, it can turn out to be a refined and poetic nature. Such a person will be inclined to illusions and self-deception, will give out wishful thinking, will defend the "walls of the destroyed fortress", i.e. defend their illusions from the destructive impact of reality. Such a person will love sacrificially and idealistically, he will forgive and accept self-denial for granted.
In general, the life of such a person will be a total suffering, the cause of which will be he himself.
Many poets have lived a very similar life.

It is not surprising that Christianity calls this very form of love - the ideal.

It remains only the question of "ideal for whom?". Realizing the role played by religion at all times (including the current ones), the answer is obvious.

Perhaps you will ask the question "But why did the Greeks formulate it that way? Are they fools?"
The Greeks defined this form of love, precisely because they were not fools, but they were skilful politicians and manipulators - they probably did not know the definition of "cognitive dissonance" at that time, but they used this method of manipulation, as we see, to the full power.

The cognitive dissonance

The essence of the method of manipulating "cognitive dissonance" is to provide a person with information in such a way, where the various elements that make up the whole are contradictory and not capable of rational comprehension.
Thus, intentionally, an illusion is created that a person simply could not understand all the information so far, so, for the time being, he should just believe, and then, later, someday, he will understand the sacred meaning.
The trick is that under the pressure of others, a person begins to believe that everyone understands the truth apart from him. To open the secret, he must start thinking as everyone begins to believe, and then maybe he will have a third eye.
As a result, a person still gets faith in the blue Cheburashka, in the Ulo, in the chosen people, and in anything, while not understanding this very truth, but independently convincing himself by rationalizing his idiotic actions in what he does all right , because so everything is done around.

If you do not understand something, do not believe it, but ask the guru to explain so that you understand!)
If a person can not explain your concept to you so that you understand, then he is a fraud.

I wish you happiness, love and prosperity!
brainmechanic)

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