So it is just me! - Trying To Lighten The Load!
You know sometimes my patience wears thin, real thin. With so much responsibilities in my life right now, I have been trying to just let certain things slide. To prioritize my well being over this desire to try and reorganize my living space.
My truck never really got finished, but in reality no one's home ever does, as we are constantly changing to suit our ever changing needs. But there has always been a lack of proper storage in my home and with 3 girls, it is something that is becoming more and more of a problem.
I live in a small space, so if someone takes something out and leaves it out, the truck can look messy. Having a 2 year old, really exasperates that problem, as she is constantly pulling things out and searching for things and she is no where near learning to put said things away. That comes with time.
So I spend a large portion of my day putting things away, just so my home does not look like a bomb hit it.
I recently put up our bell tent in the hope that she would use that more as a play space and it seemed to work for a while, but now the novelty has worn off and she instead likes to bring the things I put in there, back into the truck.
On top of that she loves to bring me in lots of mud pies, she takes great pride in making 'yum yums' for her mum, as she calls them. I do love it, but it does mean that my floor and table can quickly get covered in mud and just add to an already long list of things to do.
I have of late really found cooking to be a chore, which does not make me happy as I usually enjoy making food for my girls.
Right now I am feeling quite overwhelmed with my circumstances. I know it is because of the extra responsibility of looking after a sick pup, who I have to cook for daily and who is on so many different remedies and supplements that half of my day is spend tending to his needs.
I just have no time for myself anymore. I am trying real hard to not let it all get on top of me, but sometimes it is a real struggle and I have to fight back how irritated I am by it all.
Today is one of those days. The simplest thing just irritates me.
I keep wondering when I am going to get a break.
Being a single mum is challenging enough, throw in a sick pup and damn that struggle got real.
But he is a huge part of my family and this is just how things are for me right now. But looking back over this past year and yes I wish, I could let go of having to look back. But soon it will be a year since my sister passed. And I so miss her, she was my rock, the person I would call whenever I felt like shit was hitting the fan. I don't have that anymore.
So it is just me!
You know most days I just push on through, I stay positive and am grateful for all that I have in my life, I have so much to be grateful for. But on days like today, well days like today I just need to let it out. Cos I can't pick the phone up any more and talk to my sis, who would somehow make me laugh about it all. Who would help to lighten my burden, so instead I am off loading it here.
Life can be so damn hard some times, it ain't all a bed of roses that's for sure!
8 Pillars of TribeSteemUp
@tipu curate
A huge hug from @amico! 🤗
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Big hug to you sister and we'll done for having the courage to share. I feel you.
When I get overwhelmed sometimes, as everyone does, I remind myself that this life is just a dream, a dream made of love. Even amidst the hustle and bustle of movements in the dream, i remember who I really am, i become aware of the breath and all the feelings which flow throughout this physical body, and relax into the background of stillness, the one true self.
Namaste
Atma
thank you @atma.love for your beautiful words and yes remembering to breath and being mindful is so important. wishing you a magical weekend xx
Add another hug to the list, sister.. feeling your pain. There's no youngsters around but no one but me puts anything away. I like having a place for everything but I had to give it up b/c there's no way to fix it. Some people are simply unable to do some things, they just can't I'm convinced. A lot of it happens b/c people are living in the now, no time for details.
It seems odd to me, not a drawer in the house that doesn't look like a pile of junk. It doesn't bother me anymore, no future in allowing it to.
Sometimes a person gets a bit uplifted to hear someone elses problems... lol.. oh no.. not trading for those problems.
Alex's post about unfulfilled needs... where do I start.. was thinking as we start out our life's journey, we are, at that point, the most disadvantaged we'll ever be in our life in terms of knowledge. What chance is there we'd know ourselves so well, that we'd start out on the right path?
So we start out and years go by and then you figure it out.. my path is way the hell over there. lol
But there's now significant structure to the path a person's on and changing now would upset a whole lot..
Reminds me of the song. you can't always get what you want.
You're amazing to me and I love your pictures with the DeepDream , so much character.
thank you @truthabides yes it is important to just let things go, I am certainly learning all the time . thank you for your support and for reaching out xx
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Big hugs, my friend. Some days, it just doesn't seem worth it. You've been given great advice in here though - I hope things look brighter again soon.
thank you @viking-ventures, yeah some days are a real challenge, but the light always returns xxx
Sending some love and hugs your way. I know what it feels like to miss someone who was your rock, it’s not easy at all.
Take it step by step and moment by moment Mama. We have to pick our battles and just let the rest slide until we’re ready to deal with it. If there are things that can wait...let them. You need you and your kids need you so you have to take care of you mentally, emotionally and physically.
Reading about those mud pies made me think of the bugs my daughter would bring to me in the house :)
Much much love for you here mama. I’m hoping you get more moments to yourself ~ 💛
thank you Mama, I don't know what I would do without you all on here. I have had many lessons this last year and self care has been at the fore front. Much love to you too xxxx
Absolutely mama! You are definitely not alone and are surrounded by people and communities that love and care about you. Hang in there ~
I think I get it now when universe send you to my timeline. I can so relate to you in all things you going through and gone through your life. I understand that feelings you put on this post. I single parent my child most of the time because of my co parent job. I have almost 3 years old and 1 year old with me and sometimes I just let the space that I had just clean up become a mess again less than 5 minutes, and feel overwhelmed by others tonne of to do house chores. To keep my sanity, I just ignore it and try distract myself or else I will find myself screaming at them poor toddlers. Hugs and love from me fellow mama❤️