I am a feminist but don't call me "a feminist"

in #life7 years ago

Nowadays, I have come to realize that one cannot have a reasonable discussion or a peaceful argument with a Nigerian man without him referring to the feminist factor. They are always quick to say “don’t bring feminism into this discussion”. This always left me confused as couldn’t ascertain what they meant. So, I decided to do a little research.
You all remember a popular story in the media of the lawyer who murdered her husband, which gave rise to series of reactions across social media; some fair, some acrimonious, and some sacrilegious. Yes, I call it sacrilegious because I see the height of sacrilege when you justify a gruesome murder under the cloak of sacred feminism. I remember a colleague of mine; an acclaimed feminist who expressed how happy she gets when she hears such news or stories about women beating up their husbands. To her, it shows that women are finally standing up for themselves. She also expressed how well she admires such women. How did we get here?
Let’s trace it back to how it all started. The simple and central idea of feminism began with a movement for political rights; to vote and other civic rights. It advanced to movement for economic and social equality, then, education and to movement against marginalisation in general, in order to build independence and confidence and to free women from all ridiculous cultural constraints of the patriarchal society.
Could this have given birth to the new wave of feminism in Nigeria most especially on social media? A study of this new wave reveals that it is tailored on the premise of “I can’t be a slave to any man”. Of course, I also don’t want to be a slave to any man but are you supposed to make him a slave too? It also reveals that it is tailored towards feminine supremacy and insolence; “he should know that I am a woman, he shouldn’t be angry because I’m a woman, he should give me that opportunity just because ‘I’m a woman’”, all under the veil of feminism. Are these in tandem with the central idea of feminism?

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This is so well written, and Im totally for gender equality.

Straight up, it is a mans world out there and when women stand up to them, women should not turn into men, but be women that rise above what occurs and set in straight in ways that would prevent history from repeating itself. That is what should be done by both sexes. This is an opportunity to show why woman matter in the most crucial ways and some women think that strength comes from having the same attributes as men.

Thanks. Yea, Preach the word girl!

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No, that's not what feminism is about.
Some ladies don't really get the concept

A lot of them don't know. Most especially the so called social media feminists

I think the first thing to be borne in mind is that feminism is an ideology and like most ideologies there would always be extreme views of it, there would always be people taking advantage of the concept. Feminism is a very controversial concept and as such it has many perspectives to it, like you I knew I had feminist beliefs but I didn't want the feminist label, not until I had to write about it in my final year project and did a world of research on it and realised that my beliefs were part of the general feminist ideals. Feminism is so wide and so broad that you have to sit down and mark out your own feminism and not let people's mindset mark it out for you. All kinds of violence and abuse perpetrated under feminism to me is inexcusable except of course in self defense. I am a feminist and I am proud of it and if you ask for my own kind of feminism you would realise that I am not a radical but then I stand on the ideals of equality and equal opportunity for all, of humane treatment and non discrimination. So no! Violence under the guise of feminism is not excusable but that doesn't mean that the idea of feminism in itself is wrong.

The idea of feminism isn't wrong and I am a proud to be one. Take note the use of Inverted commas for the second "a feminist" in the title.

You made a compelling argument here but I'd like to point out something in your first paragraph

Nowadays, I have come to realize that one cannot have a reasonable discussion or a peaceful argument with a Nigerian man without him referring to the feminist factor.

There is this thing called the danger/trap of generalisation. You just fell into it here. I'm a Nigerian guy and I love intelligent discussions with the opposite gender. Anyone reading this would think ALL Nigerian men brand any lady as a feminist, in a derogatory way as I really see nothing wrong with any female that holds her own in an argument or life, whenever they have a difference of opinion.

I know I don't do that.

Great article nonetheless. Keep steeming ✌️

Noted. Pardon my over generalisation. Will be careful enough to use most or some next time. Thanks!

No offense taken at all. Please keep steeming. We need more brilliant articles like this here. Hope you good.

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