I think the first thing to be borne in mind is that feminism is an ideology and like most ideologies there would always be extreme views of it, there would always be people taking advantage of the concept. Feminism is a very controversial concept and as such it has many perspectives to it, like you I knew I had feminist beliefs but I didn't want the feminist label, not until I had to write about it in my final year project and did a world of research on it and realised that my beliefs were part of the general feminist ideals. Feminism is so wide and so broad that you have to sit down and mark out your own feminism and not let people's mindset mark it out for you. All kinds of violence and abuse perpetrated under feminism to me is inexcusable except of course in self defense. I am a feminist and I am proud of it and if you ask for my own kind of feminism you would realise that I am not a radical but then I stand on the ideals of equality and equal opportunity for all, of humane treatment and non discrimination. So no! Violence under the guise of feminism is not excusable but that doesn't mean that the idea of feminism in itself is wrong.