New Year's Resolutions: The One that Failed

in #life7 years ago (edited)

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This time last year, I wrote a piece about New Year’s Resolutions, which I personally modified to the called it the 2nd of January resolution. The reasoning behind that was that if you wanted to start a new plan that you want to absolutely stick to, you many not wanna start the first day with a hangover.

A year later, here I am writing about what I learned from that experience as this is the beauty of self-experimentation.

On that post I wrote about experimenting with accountability, and how it could be used as a powerful tool to stick to resolutions. So I started a small accountability group with a handful of friends and we had weekly call to check out on each other’s progress and so that no one falls behind.

By the second week of January we were only 3, and before February it was just me and a friend who kept postponing until the whole thing fell out.

There are two things I learned here, one is that if you spend so much time designing a plan that would set you up for better productivity and results, you might want to spend just as much time carefully analyzing the elements that are going to sustain that plan.

Otherwise it would be like designing an ultra-cool house on weak foundations.

Luckily for us, there are enough tools online where you can put stakes on your goals to help you to follow through.

Long story short, self-accountability works. However, it’s really a two-edged sword. So on this post one year later, I’ll talk about what I have learned from that experience.

Choose Your Goals Carefully

The first mistake I made was setting too many goals. As the saying goes: “You Can’t Kiss All the Girls”.

Right from the start, I set myself to accomplish a goal that was not precisely something I truly desired, but rather one the lines of that would be nice to achieve but not really important to me personally.

Standing in strong contrast with the other goals that I truly cared about.

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I was one goal too many, and that goal was to be in a great shape. Very abstract I know, and it’s not a bad goal to have, but my mistake is that I failed to personalize the parameters to myself.

In order to avoid being too generic, I decided to do a lot of research before picking which specific plan to follow. So I compared a lot of diets from Tim Ferris’s to Ryan Reynolds’s.

Enter Mistake Number 2:

I picked my specific diet based on effectiveness and speed while I should’ve chosen one that would suit me personally.

So I went with the Ketogenic diet - there are a lot of variations of the keto diets I know - but the one I picked came with the specific checklist of an extremely small number of food items that you’re allowed to eat in order for your body to stay in Ketosis.

The diet consists of the following: Meat, fish, eggs and some veggies. And by “Some” I mean SIX.

Broccoli, Cauliflower, Asparagus, Sauerkraut, Kimchee and Kale.

From that list above I only eat Kale, while other Cruciferous veggies I like -such as Arugula or Watercress- we strictly forbidden.

Non-cruciferous veggies were forbidden as well, so that meant adiós to tomatoes, potatoes, onions, carrots, peppers… And pretty much anything you can imagine.

I gave up on Kale pretty quickly because whenever there’s some food that gets sensationally propagandized by the media, I tend to be a little cautious.

Just like soy in the 1990s, high-fructose corn syrup in the 80s or sugar in the 70s.

I don’t know, call me a conspiracy theorist but I just don’t want to place too much trust on Monsanto’s dietician.

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So armed with my mini-list of the “allowed” food items, I set myself a six weeks goal to stick to the diet, a time frame that I thought was just long enough to see if there are visible changes beginning to take place... And just short enough, so I can switch diets in case that one wasn’t working out for me.

I have to say, it really worked wonders. In fact after three and a half weeks I started seeing changes already.

Though I have to admit that some other important factors that may have contributed as well.

I started running everyday, going to the gym three times a week, and unless completely necessary, using only the stand up desk.

(In full disclosure, I didn’t buy a standup desk, I just went to the bookshelf tossed some books aside and voilà).

Also there was no sugar nor sugar additives of any kind, no sauces, no juices, not even fruits. Alcohol was of course forbidden too.

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At first, it went pretty smooth. Before starting the diet I thought I would be spending all week fantasizing about Cheat Day (there is one day a week where you can eat or drink anything you want) but surprisingly enough, it went much easier than I thought.

Seeing the positive changes take place in my body was enough motivation for me to keep it up, plus feeling physically better every day was a reward on its own.

So at the end of the six weeks, and with the satisfaction of not only meeting my goals but feeling great physically on top of it. I was a happy man.

Now, if only I could finish this post right at this moment.

Easy Come, Easy Go

You see, there was an important piece of information I ignored before embarking on that extreme diet, which is that once you finish the diet, you can’t just go back to the way that you used to eat before. Otherwise, you’re going to gain much more weight than you started the diet with.

So a few weeks later there I was, with more extra weight than I ever had in my life.

I gotta tell you, I did not see that one coming.

And now what do we do?

At this point, the only viable option is to go back to the same diet and exercise routine until such point when I get my normal shape back, and then I'd start to transition between that extreme diet, and normal food in a slow fashion, and then eventually make my exit from the inflexible rules of unforgiving diets .

Only that sounds much easier said than done.

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Here’s another thing I didn’t expect, they say that the second time is much easier than the first, but that was not my experience… At all!

The first time I was curious, I had nothing to lose, plus I was motivated to be in better shape.

The second time however I was pretty much forced to do it all over again just to go back to my normal weight. So I was pretty much in for obligation instead of ambition.

The stick instead of the carrot, and let me tell you, I am not a stick person.

The days pass and it gets only worse. After a few days, you almost start to get angry when you remember that you have to eat chicken again. You get so tired of eating the same foods over and over again that sometimes you decide to skip meals all together.

Moral of the story, there is no such thing as a ‘best plan’ there is only what’s best for you.

For me, I learned that it’s far better to just eat healthy every day and exercise regularly than to engage into some extreme goal-setting programs and try to achieve them.

Goals are great, and you feel amazing when you achieve them and succeed like a champ.

But if there’s one thing to be learned from my experience is that sometimes you need to make sure that you are really passionate about those goals you’re setting.

Otherwise you could be missing out on important and beautiful things that were right in front of you just you were too busy trying to achieve someone else’s goals because of societal expectations and other traps.

But it was a great lesson nonetheless. Sometimes you just have to follow the good ol' heart.

How about you? What’s your New Year’s Resolution?

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I have given up on any "resolution", New Year's or other, more than 20 years ago.

However, in November 2016, I had suddenly decided to become vegan. After more than a year, I am pretty satisfied with this. My family has accepted it and I have been able to stick to it.

Hello from a fellow vegan!

Vegan here as well!

YES. And this guy has a vegan girlfriend, so it should be an easy process.

Up vote for becoming a vegan. I am happy vegan for 3,5 years. It is one of the best things I introduced in my life. All the best!

That's great that you're able to stick with it since you started, the best thing is that you're satisfied with it. My girlfriend is a vegan and I don't see her going back, she's very happy like this and quite frankly, that's all that matters when you're satisfied with your choices.

Thank you for sharing! :)

Wow. Great introspection and breakdown of what went right & wrong. I like your focus on something you can personalize. Tangible goals, maybe calendared in regularly, might help also. In the end, whatever you do must be sustainable, something you can maintain over time (which is the hardest part). Happy New Year and best of success with 2018!

Yeah you're right, something that can be maintained over timed and monitored regularly. Though this one wasn't a successful resolution, it sure was an educational one for future plans that are more important and I care about more.

Happy New Years Tom!! All the best for 2018!

thanks for ones.

I want to loose 10 lbs. and feel that that is in my reach since it seems to be he same 10 lbs. that I lost last year but I do feel better 10 lbs. lighter. I manage to loose that weight rather easily by putting 2 tablespoons of chia in my oatmeal every morning. I just don't feel hungry afterwards for most of the day.

Oh that's amazing, not only because you manage to do it, but because you do so with something sustainable and healthy that you can maintain.

Thanks a lot for sharing, I may start to try that chia myself :)

My News resolution has been the same for the last three years. To read one book a year. ONE BOOK. ONE. I didn't do it the first year, second or third. I need to come up with a new plan. :) Happy 2018!

Haha or maybe I should release a super short, super fun book to help you conquer the resolution!

Happy 2018 Kat!! I wish you an amazing year!

No more than three pages... my attention span is super short! :)

You just touched the heart, and even the pride, of most of us, the New Year's Resolutions "team"... The first step to solve a problem is to admit that it exists. Yes, New Year's Resolutions fail, just like every other new habits fail, because you just start the wrong way. To much planning and titanic expectations and challenges.
I think, from experience, that what works is a little bit of "this" and a little bit of "that". I started using an app called "Fabulous", yes, I know, the name is promising. But, besides it achieving great score on the google market, it is a very well designed app the leads you to achieve some of your possible goals.
Besides that, here goes some of my new year's resolutions (that I have been working on for some days):

  • Have at least 4 meals a day (since I have the bad habit of skippin' some, especially breakfast)
  • Start an exercising habit (could be just a 20min. walk in the mornig, or just a 7 minute workout, but I have to start moving my body with consistency)
  • Build an emergency fun (finance wise) since, as I will explain in my first series of posts here on SteemIt, financial stability is one of my important goals in times to come.
  • Prepare myself for getting back to the university and star a carreer change (by that I mean starting to study mathematics, since I come from a Social Science's Background, and I am aiming to study computer engeniering and coding)
  • Start posting on SteemIt consistently, since I feel the need, but am still procastinating about some projects I have for this area.

These goals will lead me to these major goals, arranged by priority:

  • Become healthier;
  • Consolidate my financial situation;
  • Prepare for a career change;
  • Work on archived and side projects;

Hope this works out. ;)
BTW, congrats to The Alien. Always with good and inspiring work!

This is great! 1 is better than 0, you start working out just a few minutes a day and you go from there. The same with the finance fund, you start small and then little by little it keeps adding up and you'll be happy and looking forward to increase it.

I hope to read your updates and that you document the journey, this could be very helpful to many people.

Best of luck and best wishes for 2018!

That is a really good idea! I think i'll go with it🤗

new year resolution work hard or go home :D
have a fantastic start to the new year
Lets make it the best one :D
2018 here we come

Have a fantastic 2018 as well!!

Yes, let's make it the best one :)

this is you best post sir..

wonderful post buddy rightly said goals are only good when we achieved them

Thanks buddy! I wish you an amazing 2018!

"(In full disclosure, I didn’t buy a standup desk, I just went to the bookshelf tossed some books aside and voilà)." GAH! You literally just saved me a few hundred dollars on a stand up desk! I've been going back and forth about buying one but just couldn't swallow the price. And I've got a perfectly good bookcase...Thanks for the idea, and the good message about being realistic about setting goals.

Haha glad to be of help! Yeah no need to buy one, just a book case would do. We make he best of what we can :)

Happy New Years!!

Love this, we're just finishing a post about new year's intentions... Not surprisingly since it's the time for this. We have changed "resolutions" for "intentions" as we wanted to step away from that nagging feeling of not achieving something we are likely going to still want -or intend- to do even if we fail the first time.

Particularly like what you say about choosing what's right for you, this is definitely a key factor, rather than what the world out there dictates what's good. You can never have a blanket solution for every person.

Anyway, thanks for the great post, as I say my wife and I @kensholife will be posting in the next few days a set of different areas where one can focus, giving a few example ideas and a few links from the science evidence that helps towards personal well-being and a long lasting sense of happiness. Watch this space! :)

I'll certainly watch it :) Looking forward to read it btw and curious about the science part as well!

Hi @the-alien, as promised here's our taking on the subject @kensholife: New Year's Intentions
Happy New Year 2018!

I have a similar new year resolution which consists on getting fit, in my case I need to earn more muscle and a little bit more weight.

I hope I can acomplish it, I think I just need a little bit of self disciplined in that aspect.

I think if it's important to you, you will accomplish it. Regardless of how many resolutions failed before you.

If you care enough, and have some discipline I'm sure you'll succeed.

Plus, your name handle says it all ;)

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