Wow John… I had no idea we have this in common. See folks like us, with this struggle I mean, long fly under the radar of our Challenge being noticed by others, because our security plan is to please and as a result we don't cause much trouble! I hid my anxiety really well because revealing that would've caused distressed to those I was trying to please and being a pleaser… We just don't do that! Also, I think this pleaser tactic starts young before we are even conscious of what doing and then it becomes our norm and our baseline… I didn't realize I had anxiety or that I tried to deal with it by being ever pleasing to everyone until only the last few years. Thank you for letting me know you can relate to that part, because like you said it does feel nice to know I'm not the only one. It is exhausting and something I work to keep myself free of more every day.

IMO The not knowing who you are and the pleaser issue are intimately related. When we live in other peoples' heads, trying to figure out how to be in order to be to please this person and then change to please that next person, it prevents us from ever really being present. From looking introspectively at who the hell we even really are inside! For me this habit also impacted my ability to develop deep genuine relationships with friends in the past, because if you have no sense of center then who are you going to be when you're just hanging out with someone being " yourself?" In that situation...There is no known self to be.

This is a process to overcome and you are well ahead of where I was at your age. 🙌🏽🙏🏽 I too started out finding more comfort practicing being myself in an anonymous way online. Over the years different websites and blogs I have slowly revealed more and more of who I truly am as I figured it out along the way. I'm nearly fully revealed in truth now on Steemit and Instagram except for not going by my "real life" name here...and a few other details.