What Happens When Introverts Have Children?
Procreation is not to be taken lightly, especially if you are an introvert with an introverted partner. Unless you are very wealthy or have access to extended family to regularly take your child or, heaven forbid, children off your hands.
Hi, there. I’m Shawna. I’m an introvert. I’m married to @nat5an, also an introvert. Together, we have three noisy children. It’s wonderful except it’s also hell.
Here we are with my in-laws. Image by JealousyJane.
I hope you’re either laughing or nodding in solidarity.
My partner and I are readers. Only one of our kids, so far, is capable of reading for long, blissfully quiet periods. The other two prefer Minecraft and singing at top volume to inanimate objects. They are both very social and ask for playdates all the time. They are both confident, outgoing and highly intelligent. I can’t wait for them to move out.
If there hadn’t been an explicit order mapped for our lives, I am very sure my partner and I would have been happiest with either one or no kids. Of course, I say this unable to imagine life without the wonder of kids 2 and 3. I would be devastated without them. I love them to pieces. I just really miss quiet.
Nobody told me quiet would disappear. They just asked when I would be getting pregnant.
Nobody told me how mentally taxing keeping multipke schedules for multiple children is. They just asked me when we would conceive again.
And when I showed up bedraggled to any function or errand, I was still asked if I would have more. After all, my kids are so cute.
I can’t disagree. I find them adorable. Except when I need quiet. Which is about 75% of the time. Quiet equals recharging. Usually I can at least do this at night, but Kid 3 has a VERY noisy cold. She is also an active snuggler. As in she pushes us off the bed then cries because we aren’t there to warm her.
What does happen when introverts have children? After the initial energy slump, we grit our teeth and drag ourselves through each day debating the merits of noise cancellation headphones (will our kids realize we don’t want to hear them?) and clinging to the promise of bedtime, after which we will sit near each other quietly for an hour or so before turning in.
That hour? The best part of my day.
nice photo @shawnamawna
thank you for sharing
good day
3 children? You are a trooper :) Blessings for the little ones
I dread this moment..and I often wonder if I will be capable. Only time will tell but at this point, I can't even imagine myself without having an anxiety attack. 😅
😊 Thank you. It’s an amazing challenge.
Yes, I indeed nodded, "me too!" I have five very extraverted children who prefer Minecraft over reading. Ugh, it's torture sometimes. I fact as I'm trying to type this out with my smartphone, one of them is using my lap as a jungle gym, singing " this little piggy went to the market." Another one is such a people person, she wants to be best friends with EVERYONE SHE MEETS. Stranger danger, girl!! So what does happen...we endure it lol. Try to get a moment's peace when we can haha. I feel your pain!! :)
Oh dear LORD that sounds awful. Why are our bodies jubgle gyms? Why must we be introduced to new people because our kids drag us along. Give me a cave with no wifi.
Ahh, a cave with wi-fi sounds really nice. Although they are sleeping in this morning and I'm soaking in every second of it haha! :)
Bless their sleepy heads for giving you a break.
I delight in this post. My husband and I are both introverts with 2 extrovert children; I empathize the need for quietness and stillness. My 7 yr old came home from school and stated, “I don’t understand why you guys like silence so much. Don’t you know the whole world is full of sound?” LoL, children are so funny and so truthful.
Bahahahaha! That is obliviously astute. We like silence BECAUSE the world is full of sound. Someone please send @tyebrooks noise cancellation headphones!
The incessant noise and utter lack of "me time" are my greatest fears whenever my partner mentions wanting to have children in the future. We are both introverts as well... Best of luck!
Good luck to you, too! I hope, if you have children, they are quiet readers.
You speak to my heart. I was born the third of three, by 11 years, so was basically raised an only child. I learned to entertain myself and am very uncomfortable in groups or loud situations where I feel I can't easily leave. I read constantly, and love to study... anything. I spend my time hungering for knowledge. I have 12 children. Now, I love my children dearly, and like you, can't imagine life without any of them. But I do find myself imagining my life without all of them. When people ask how many children I wanted, I stick with 4.... which probably would have been too much. 12 is pretty much insanity. We adopted a family group and later adopted a sibling of a child adopted by another family locally. Then over time, there were more whose lives crossed ours, in need, no one to take them. My life has changed drastically, and while I love my family, there are times it's more theoretical, and I love them from work or wherever. I was not prepared, but hope that it's all worth it in the end, and that they go forth and find joy... my bucket list is mostly books and naps.
I think we have matching bucket lists. 12? The very idea makes me duck and cover, but it also fills my heart with warmth because that means 12 humans are receiving love and stability which is, in all honesty, the wmotional equivalent of a book or a nap.
12 is, well, a whole bunch. More than my fragile temperament is designed to handle. But it warmed me that I was not alone in this struggle, and it resonates with me when you commented that now that they're here, you couldn't imagine no having them. Which would we choose not to have let into our heart? Doesn't make it easier, but I believe it gives the struggle and sacrifice meaning. I'm so far out of the box in this regard that we've burned the box to heat our hovel. But... We are warm.
Gah. "we've burned the box to heat our hovel. But... We are warm." That speaks volumes.
Resteemed your article. This article was resteemed because you are part of the New Steemians project. You can learn more about it here: https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@gaman/new-steemians-project-launch
I am finding that I'm an introverted extrovert - if that even makes sense!!
You know though? Good for you! Sounds like you have a kick ass family there - which I know you do :)