Thank you for sharing your story. I totally understand. I attempted suicide as a teen as well. I'm currently grieving the loss of my pet. Here is what helped me: At the end of each day, write down 3 things that went well for you today. For example, maybe you made it through the day without crying. Or maybe you saw a cute squirrel outside. Maybe you had a phone call with a friend. Shifting your mind from sadness to gratitude takes discipline but it is possible. Studies show people improved their happiness by over 30% with that tip.

Speaking of outside, going outside in nature will help you tremendously. Get moving. Go for a walk in the sunshine. Take some vitamin D. Log off of your computer and sit under a tree. This will ground you. Watch animals or bugs or anything outside to focus on something outside of yourself.
An article in Scientific American says that the act of smiling (even a fake one) will make you happier. Please read it.

Lastly, the way you move and stand and carry yourself makes a huge difference in terms of mood and depression. Try some power poses. They are free, fast and proven to work. Here is an article . about power poses. If you want me to send you a video showing you how to do power poses, I will happily do that. Please take care of yourself. I hope you follow my advice.