I Talked to a Feminist a couple of days ago...

One that I really enjoy chatting with too.

I'll always call myself a feminist; truth be told I really love being in the presence of other women. I enjoy their very being, what it is to be a woman and what that means. I just love them. Most of my friends are women and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

My feminist friend wanted to talk to me about male issues, mainly because I write for men, or with my writing I try to reach men. I can't profess to write for women because I have no idea how women think. I mean I have an idea, but I really am not a woman so I can't pretend to say that I know how a woman feels in any situation, because I just don't. Period. Anyway, my friend wanted to see me write on some issues that men face that are being swept under the carpet, that we call grey area but should it really be grey area at all? I must admit, I was intrigued, it's unusual that I meet someone that's openly prepared to talk with me on the male struggle and how the scales are tipped one way on certain issues but entirely the other way on others.

Firstly, we talked about incubation, and the fact that some women knowingly trick men into being sperm donors, and some go a step further and have them fund their entire lives until the child is 18. I knew one chap whose wife dumped him shortly after they had a little daughter and proceeded to milk him for every penny he had whilst she shacked up with another man in his house. Of course, this is on the extreme scale of the spectrum but we shout about things like rape culture from the rooftops, and for me, this is something we need to start tackling too. Men are literally being shafted left right and centre for their monies, and their livelihood. We could argue that he should have worn a condom, but that's the same type of victim blaming we hear from men that say 'oh, she shouldn't have dressed so provocative then'

Men have it tough. We are cuddled by our mothers and then we go into school and our teachers tell us things like, "Crying doesn't work in this class." The older that we get our friends laugh at us when we cry, but that’s to distract themselves from the fact they sobbed in a cupboard the night before. Enough time passes and we learn to keep our feelings tight to our chests. It's why men don't open up. It's why we're seeing a massive swing in Feminism, and men that support Feminism because it's the cool thing to do, but very little are standing up for men. Those that do are burned down and chastised. I have to be very careful with what I type, I can't tell it like how it is else followers would lose faith, I have to dance around eggshells, but I'm honestly getting tired of it. I really am.

Listen, my Dad was an utter cunt. I know the depravity of men. I've lived it and nearly became it. I was raised by my Mum and I was taught to love women. But Jesus, it doesn't take a scientist to see that men are suffering too. I watched a video a couple of days back where men were peacefully protesting for men's rights and Feminists were spitting and calling them Nazis. Are men robots now? Do we exist in a life with zero problems? No, I just think it's a select few that fail to understand there's an existence outside their own bubble and give women a bad name for it, or feminism a bad name for it. My friend argued, well, are they really feminists though? They just sound like angry women to me. She was right, angry women spoiling life for everyone else because they fail to understand that their experiences are not absolute. I fucking hate absolutists :) I think I posted that many moons ago.

I'd rather not make this into a male versus female post because this wasn't my intention. I firmly believe that in an ideal situation we should support one another. Having each other’s back. If something isn't right for one then the other should step up and vice versa. We're NOT seeing that right now, under no accounts, and it saddens me. I want to see more men open up. I want more men to explore the hidden depths of their souls and shout their turmoil for all to see. We all have them. Every one of us, a victim, and guilty, no-one is perfect. I have been both sides of the coin too, a victim, and guilty, and maybe one day I'll blog about either on here for your amusement.

Maybe it's time we just grew up a bit? Maybe it's time to start working with each other, rather than blaming and creating a divide? Nothing ever gets resolved when one side is pushing against the grain. Togetherness happens when peace is made and talks happen and compromises are thought up. Call me an idealist but I hate all this division. I am a firm believer in progression through collaboration, where people bounce of each other to get ahead. I know, that's an ideal situation for me, but why is it so hard to achieve this?

I'm just an idealist at heart. We are many, many years away from this.

Thanks for reading :)