RE: Hi, my name is Laura and I am an alcoholic.
I hear you. I have my own issues and can only share my thoughts.. You are so unbelievably brave baring your soul like you did, I'm in awe! Simply admitting you have an issue is a major step you should be unbelievably proud of. For me distraction helps. I tend to get obsessed with new things, like say, steemit. The meditation advice was excellent. I have not read about your disabilities so I can't advise further. Yoga helped me, but wasn't a cure all, nothing will ever be. Life is unbelievably hard and I really understand your dilemma. This is what has helped me *notice help not cure...when I have felt rock bottom desperate I have got down on my knees and asked God/the universe/whatever there is... to help. Help will come in unexpected ways, I guarantee this, just trust. Don't beat yourself up. Life is tough and you already have a lot to deal with. 💚
I am a pretty firm atheist so I really don't pray. It doesn't help me. Meditation and yoga have helped me in the past so I will definitely be doing that and like you said, new obsessions. I might just get really hardcore into Stardew Valley again for a few weeks. :)
Thank you it was really hard to post actually. After I posted it I found an online AA meeting and I listened to speakers and took the chair and shared my own story. They have online meetings 3 times a day.
Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment.
You are already on the road to healing by understanding and accepting that you want to change something in your life for the better. We don't always have to have the answer of how we are gong to get there, but just knowing that we want to be better, healthier, happier etc is all it takes to get the momentum and energy flowing in the right direction.
It sounds like your home environment might not be the best for trying to reduce exposure to alcohol, but that's okay, take each day as it comes, don't worry too much about the future, just focus on the now and try to enjoy each day as much as possible, no judgement, no criticism, just love yourself and know you have the strength to do anything you want to. Belief is one of the most powerful energies we have for change, so just believe, really feel it in your heart that you can do this, find your joy and connect with your amazing, wonderful and talented true self, expand your possibilities and listen for clues everyday, the universe will always answer. :)
Thanks a lot and that's exactly my plan is to just take it day by day and get outside as much as my shoddy body will let me, get sunshine, meditate. Already did a chat room meeting and found skype conference call meetings for support. So even though my home life isnt ideal hopefully I can still get where I want to be. :) Again, thanks for the nice comment. <3