Manhood, Revising Webster
Its hard for me to wake up this morning not thinking about the intense conversations we had last night on the radio. I have to say that as much as it was emotionally heavy, meaning that some of the topics left us vulnerable. I felt inspired, I felt alive and that, that indescribable bonding that took place was priceless.
I knew that Dino had a lot to share, not only through his song introductions and his stories. He is of course a story teller at heart, but because you know by simply listening to him, he has ridden himself of a lot of layers over the years. The facade, the strong man that doesn't feel, the perfect human projection for the world to see, all of those lies, he's gotten rid off.
It's crazy to me that today such a thing is something I admire. I'm not questioning his sincerity, and I'm definitely not questioning the fact that I find that vulnerability to be powerful, as contradictory as it may sound. I just can remember a time where I would not have seen it this way. I can vividly remember worshiping strength. It did not matter if it was fake, emulated or anything of the sort. Strength was the only thing a man should adopt in his core.
This lie, this stupid idea that we can't, that we should not be vulnerable is expensive, extremely costly to us all. It is however something we have deemed as a social norm. Men are the protectors, men are the heavy lifters, men are the ones who take the bullet. I see it, I've lived it, I understand it and I can actually justify every single stoic expectation.
Are we right? I'm seriously asking. I'm intrigued as to how we ended up here in the first place. I can speculate, It's not that hard to imagine how we evolved to cast a protective shade for our nuclear family, even if the sun was burning our own skin.
All these things make sense to me, they really do. I just wonder if we are moving beyond a point where they are not that relevant anymore. I wonder if we are failing to adapt, if we are failing to see how these new dynamics don't mix well with stoic ideas of the past.
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• Serious Question Moments #667
• Perusing down Memory and Lane
• If the keyboard takes over I want impunity
• Join me Tonight for Songwriter Shop Talk Featuring Dino Romanelli
Great article, Meno! I would modify the quote in the image provided to say something more along the lines of:
Its okay for men to be sensitive and vulnerable, however, in the next breath, such men are also able to brave any occasion and fight to the death if need be to protect and defend those they love.
I think most would agree that in contrast to women, men have a far more difficult time sharing their feelings, vulnerabilities, and fear with other human beings. It is foolish because we have every capacity to do so, however, many cultures have embedded long-standing expectations as to how men are supposed to process such emotions – quietly and in silence.
Since it is rare to find another male one can trust to process such emotions in a healthy way, it becomes paramount and essential for men to get in touch with these feelings internally, on their own, and to process and express them in a balanced and meaningful way. Repression and suppression of such is a recipe for ongoing disaster in my view.
Thereafter, once men are successful at getting in touch with and processing those emotions, it is then their duty, at their own pace and judgment of course, to expose select portions of such emotions emanating from within themselves, and to be present and receptive to identify and empathize with such sensitivities they will encounter in their relations with other men, women, and children.
In my view, and very much in agreement with Meno’s takeaway from his interview with Dino, (which I’ve yet to have the opportunity to hear) these are indeed some of the very strongest and most capable men we can hope to know, look too for guidance, leadership, and too call true friends.
I think you would love the songs and Dino's story.
On the quote part, the reason why I decided to use it, its exactly because that is what we are supposed to be.
Is it what we are? I dunno... I think your version is much more real.
But, I wonder how many subscribe to the old school way of thinking still.
So true, Meno... I'm certain the vast majority of us guys are firmly entrenched in the old school camp - but there's a movement in place, and I think we are headed in the right direction.
I just saved your interview with Dino to my "watch later" list and will def be checking it out. Love your tireless work and passionate efforts, brother - you are one special dude, man! .x
Well I don't know the origin of the problem we are talking about, it would have been so easy to ask those that started the movement to know what was on their mind before they made that a practice that we are just copying... Lol
Anyways, men are wonderful, the natural strength in us makes us to be fit for whatever it is demanded of us.
Women are just to give their supportive hand, men are to initiate the move... Lol
Dear meno, it's better we just leave some topics without the intention to know the why behind them, this is one of them... Hahahahah
We can't actually know why!
I don't know man, but I think I will stick with his way of seeing these things :).