“The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.”

Communication, something so simple yet so difficult to achieve. There might be times where you share your issues with someone but you felt that they do not understand you. Worst still, they reply whatever they feel. That happens because they are purely hearing your issues rather than listening to them. That is one of the issues these days. Listen to them, give them your full attention and when you listen you will know what to reply to them. Listen to understand not to blabber what you know. People may have same life experience but they interpret it differently. Understand their interpretation, perception and thereafter reply if there is a need to.

Let’s say you and your love one had an argument. If we listen to reply, the argument would go on and on due to not understanding their perception. We will end up saying mean words that hurt them which would result to mean actions as well. All these solely due to hearing and not listening to them. This can be avoided if we put our emotions aside and explain why we are having such emotions. Explain your emotions, don’t express it. If we can avoid all of these then why not? But here is the thing, it ain’t that easy. I have been doing my best to be aware and explain my emotions rather than expressing it. This needs awareness, patience and practice. Once we listen to understand them, things change. Man, it really does. Arguments can disappear just like that because you literally understand their perception and of course they should understand your perception as well. Once both parties understand each other, solutions will come about.

Another issue with communication is when we think we have communicated our message across to others but in fact we did not. Why does that happens? It is due to us believing that others are aware of the message as firstly, there know how we work and secondly our actions are so obvious that they should get that message. But guess what, it does not work like that. It is an assumption. When one assumes, hell breaks lose. That communication did not happen or rather the only place that the communication happened was in your mind. Now, the other isn’t a mind reader, so how would they know. You assume that they know but in fact they do not and arguments, fights, and tantrums happens. If you have an issue with the other go and communicate it with them. It is that simple.

In any relationship, mother/father-son/daughter, husband-wife, boyfriend-girlfriend, boyfriend- boyfriend, girlfriend-girlfriend, friends, relatives etc, communication is the key to a better relationship. How? When you communicate your feelings and emotions to the other, they have a chance to understand you and know how you work (this only happens if the other listens to understand and not listen to reply) and vice versa. When two people understand each other’s perspective, there tend to be lesser arguments. Moreover, even when arguments happens at times you may know how to end the argument due to the very reason that you know how the other works. Communication leads to understanding the other and yourself. Not only when arguments take place. When we communicate, we open ourselves to the other, we share a small part of ourselves to them and in that sharing the love for each other gets deeper, we feel more connected to them, we want to understand them more because we will know how to keep them happy and when hell breaks lose for them, we know how to bring them back and tell them “hey. Wake up. Its alright. Things are going to be perfecto.”

Always remember that we all perceive things differently. At times we may perceive a certain event similarly but there will definitely be times where we view things different from others. Before you get angry and say mean words, remember that the person you are saying to may have gone through a life worse than yours. Rather than lashing your emotions out, breathe, calm down and talk to them nicely. After communicating you may be grateful that you stopped and listen to them first. Words have a lot of power, use them wisely people! Lastly, communicate whatever you need to communicate to whoever, do not assume that they know it. Let your ego down and go up to them and explain or say whatever you need to :). Understand the importance of communication and use it well.